I’d like to tell you a story, inspired by true events... Walter Waterman grew up next to the watermelon patch & always wondered if he was a watermelon. Everyone told him he was a cucumber, but he wasn’t sure. He was bigger than all of his cucumber cousins

He didn’t look anything like those perfect cucumbers and he was pretty sure he never would. Plus all those perfect cucumbers kinda stuck together and they didn’t want him growing next to them.

But then when he said he was a watermelon all the watermelons said, “no, no, you can’t be a watermelon. You’re a cucumber!” They weren’t being mean about it... or at least not intentionally.

So Walter Waterman was stuck. That made him very sad. Another cucumber, but not one of the perfect ones, asked why he was so sad & Walter said he wasn’t a perfect cucumber, & he wasn’t a watermelon so he didn’t know what he was. His friends said look at me! I’m not perfect.

Then his friend said you don’t have to be a perfect cucumber and you don’t have to be a watermelon. All you have to be is you. And then Walter Waterman was happy.

EPILOGUE: please shield your children from the sorrowful conclusion of this tale. It pains me to have to tell you this but Walter Waterman, his friend, and all the perfect cucumbers were later eaten by a family of giants. (and the perfect cucumbers were less delicious.) THE END

FYI the story was inspired by this cucumber I picked out of the garden.