The first time I properly recognized something was off with my mental health I was 12, I didn’t have a word for it, thought I was dramatic/crazy, and just knew the overwhelming sense of agony that would wash over me for no discernible reason wasn’t something I could talk about

I actually started complaining about ‘migraines’ a lot. My mood swings were okay but when I got really low sometimes it’ll manifest as migraines. I didn’t realize at the time but I was managing myself and was a high achiever so I thought it’ll be fine

(Spoiler alert. I was, 100% not fine). I moved to boarding school in a different country and my down periods got longer & more intense. Also just started some mildly self destructive behavior, but I was still doing pretty well in school so again, I thought ‘manage yourself’

At some point my house tutor was like.. baby girl you are not fine & sent me to see a therapist/school counselor, who suggested meds after a while and I thought “yt ppl are crazy” and stopped going.

I’m tired of this thread already but sorry. Must share for reasons . After this I went to College - undoubtedly the WORST four years of my life. It was a traumatizing experience & my trauma was like gasoline for my depression. I COMPLETELY lost myself to it.

I often feel like my friends from Duke got the worst possible version of myself. My friends from home who stuck by me through the roller coaster ride of my sanity, my moods, my dissasociatibg for weeks at a time-along with my mom- Anchored me to life.