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lets try and make a safe space. how do my conservative friends learn to accept non-conservative values?
A thread.
A thread.
The Malaysian reality
: We are a muslim dominated society but like any other country in the world there is diveristy here which includes members of the trans and the LGBTQ community. So what does the dynamic look like here?
: We are a muslim dominated society but like any other country in the world there is diveristy here which includes members of the trans and the LGBTQ community. So what does the dynamic look like here?
First, reality is there are always radicals. The gung ho religious person who condemns anyone out of line whether its a fellow muslim/christian and especially people who are not religious. Also, there are liberals who can be aggressively harsh abt ppl that can’t ‘understand’
In the end, we reach the debate of “kau haram kau akan masuk neraka” versus “yall are hateful uneducated bitches” and so the hateful cycle continues...
but, there are also moderates. the people who don’t know how to react to all of this. “I’m religious but Idk how I feel abt gay people - should I hate them? should I stay away? should I be quiet? should I preach against it?” And this thread is dedicated for you!
This on the fence feeling and not knowing what to do, for most ppl, comes from the fact that being gay/trans is against the religion so it feels not right to support this community. And culturally your friends or family hv shown adveristy against trans or gay people.
So at times you may feel compelled to do the same even when you were younger. “Jangan jadi pondan. Eeee bapok lah kau. Look at that ah gua. So tomboy lah you ni.” Its engrained that a boy or girl has to act in a specific way. So you carry those thoughts with you today.
In Malaysia (not just KL folks) gender role and norms are still SO STRONG. Inevitably we may feel that calling out trans/gay people is the right thing to do. “My religion wants me to tegur and nasihat my fellow ppl who are ‘lost’”. So, where do we go from here?
If gay people have been told why religious ppl have to ‘tegur’ them, its only respectful for them to listen to what gay/trans ppl want
We wanna live ourlives without constantly being scared and being told that our choice is less deserving of rights than others. Just to not be hated and be harrased or heckled would be lovely. (Ofc this is not true for everyone)
Given that, how can I be a conservative and accept these values? First, understand that being a conservative does not mean you have to hate on non-conservative values. Be open minded. Someone being gay/trans does not harm your daily life nor does it get in the way of your rights
As a conservative, you have to agree that the majority of your life rn in Malaysia have not been actively bothered by gays/trans ppl at all unless you come in between someone who just want to be who they are. This is where picking a fight happens.
“Oh this is an Islamic country, so if you wanna do all ‘that’ get out of here.” Why is this not okay to say? Imagine living under British colonialism/Slavery/Apartheid/Genocide & you thinking how unfair things are and the only comeback someone can give u is, you should leave?
The point is, if the country you are born into can grow into a more socially just, tolerant, diverse and fair world, we should not run from it but make things work. The biggest disappointment is listening to people who use this argument and think it actually makes sense.
Minorities are citizens. Gay and trans ppl are citizens and we are disappointed if its society has determined the only way of life that should be respected with rights is a pious one. Running away is no option when theres an option to make the nation a better life for all.
I want conservative ppl to come to terms with their lifestyle while respecting how other ppl wanna live theirs.
“Oh aku tak benci LGBT tpi aku tak support hidup diorang” is a common position ppl take these days.
“Oh aku tak benci LGBT tpi aku tak support hidup diorang” is a common position ppl take these days.
Although this may be a comfortable position to take, this may be misleading. Being LGBT or trans is a human right. A choice to take without fear of being told or forced into conversion. There is no debate over human life. And there shouldn’t be one. It has to be treated w respect
A conversation needs to take place abt understanding where each one of us is coming from. In the end, the LGBT/trans community want to be respected with human rights, something that doesn’t necessarily exist here in Msia because “our founders want it to be this way”.
“But oh kita kena tegur sesama kita”. Yes, religion has placed a responsibility to advocate and advice others but bear in mind to what extent it should be done in order to respect another persons decision. Whatever you do, come from a place of love not hate.
Do not shame someone publicly. Do not use slanderous and hateful language. Do not make remarks of ‘you are going to hell’. Do not incite hate and be an evil human being ‘in the name of religion’. That is shame to any religion to do so.
However, I personally believe that there is nothing to ‘tegur’. Because this is an identity that has no fault or wrong in taking. I hope some of you can learn to take it the same way I do.
But, if you REALLY have something to say, do so in private and do so with respect. Advice should come from a place of concern but never a place to prove what is right and what is wrong. Love is love. Don’t spread hate.
Imagine a world where things are the other way around. You are not a boy/girl borned into a country that supports your religious views and the way you wanna live your life. Ever since you are a child your identity is being mocked and shamed across the room where u walk.
Your love for religion being punished and friends who share the values you have get killed or murdered because you stand by your human right to be who you want to be. We all share this country. Malaysia is our home. There is enough room for everyone if we want there to be 
thanks to @theBrendanChew for helping me w this thread 
