Makhaya Ntini was me in one of these elite firms we choose to work for. Being on a project with an all-white-male team and feeling the isolation, the in-your-face understanding that you are the ‘lowest ranking member’, and speaking about it only to be dismissed. It stings!

From time to time they offer to go buy coffee, and ask if you want anything to coat the micro aggressions in between. But when it’s time to discuss work, they speak on your behalf and ask other men about the work you’re responsible for. And just like that, you’re muted, invisible

Here you are, Black and Female. You quickly learn that the suffering of black women and men is not shared/common. BM can relate to the racism but deny the sexism. So you really are just there dangling at the bottom of the food chain, feeling alone and on autopilot. Just, there.

I used to be angry at black women in power, and wondered why all this could happen on their watch. And then realized that they, too, are black women. Just like me, they are ‘low ranking’ members. My anger turned into empathy for them. Are they supported? Are they coping?

And when it’s now ‘cool’ to tweet #BLM, you see the very racist organizations use your lived horror as a PR stunt. Cricket SA is there printing BLM shirts while in their organization, Makhaya Ntini experienced the darkest racism. It’s so upsetting; the performative bullshit.

So when I started my TEDx Talk with the words "I want power..." with tears in my eyes and nose, I was saying it from the depth of my chest. Every single word.