As much as I love esports, I won’t lie - it can be damn hard to love it sometimes, for a number of reasons.

Where it really falls down is ultimately on the youth of the industry. Ego, immaturity, naivety, a lack of professionalism, the blend of personal + work, nepotism, the stock put in tenure, instability, social pressure - it’s horrible.

On the flip side, it brings out unrivalled passion and joy. It forges unlikely friendships, crafts historical moments that live forever, creates livelihoods for people that would otherwise find themselves hating their jobs - it’s incredible.

Maybe it’s because of my time split between business and esports. Maybe it’s the conflicting sides of me of being a businessman (professional, more serious) and a caster (less serious, more youthful). I dunno. But the negatives really pile up sometimes.

I understand entirely why Redeye prioritised his mental health above all else and ultimately why he’s bowed out of esports. I feel he personified some of the negatives I associate with esports, but I respect his prioritisation.

Maybe it’s a standards piece, maybe it’ll improve. But right now I’m honestly so fed up of toxic personal agendas, egos, unprofessionalism and a real lack of skills that help people be a positive contributor in a team setting.

This ain’t no donezo manifesto or high-and-mighty “I’m only acting for me from now on” thread, just musings I’ve had for a long time. And it certainly isn’t just about casting.

Getting caught up in the whirlwind can wreck your head, so be mindful