When I was trans, I dated another transman for 2 years. They were very aggressive about it. Any mention of us being female was met with fury. So, one day I have to go to the ER for a concussion. Drunken Halloween shenanigans. Anyway, I had an MRI and they were training someone

that day. Here, they legally have to ask any female bodied person if they could possibly be pregnant. The trainee forgot and the trainer made a big deal about it. My partner was furious. Tore the technician a new asshole about it. I was horribly embarrassed, just tried to get out

of there ASAP. My partner said I should've been treated like any male and not asked this question. I disagreed. I possessed a body capable of getting pregnant, I thought the question was relevant. This episode was a turning point for me. Sex matters. And you can't ID out of it.

They told this story to one of our friends, who was generally pro-trans all the way, expecting agreement, and the friend flat out said, "That's stupid. You're being stupid." My partner never spoke to them again and expected me to drop them too.

It was one of the first instances where I started questioning. How do you deal with the reality of a situation vs a trans identity? It was my first real taste of both reality not fitting with trans beliefs and the cultish nature of those beliefs. And it was fucking bitter.