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I get a lot of dick pics in my messages and while I don& #39;t think they are bad *as a whole*, I think there& #39;s room for improvement. I& #39;m doing this in clothes, add or remove yours as you see fit. Behold, my cucumber!
We all know this is the gold standard for cuke pics and there& #39;s a lot to like! Try to find good lighting (sun is usually best), minimize your weird feet, make your bed, and make sure your recipient wants to see this. 2/15
Unfortunately this happens a lot. I know! You& #39;re in a hurry! Slow the fuck down. It isn& #39;t about how fast you take the picture, it& #39;s about your results, and these results suck. Also, your feet are weird, don& #39;t think we don& #39;t notice. 3/15
Are you in your kid& #39;s room? What the fuck? Are you just super messy? Also it& #39;s blurry again, have you just never taken a picture before? You suck at this. 4/15
What am I supposed to learn from this pic other than you own a remote and you need to clean up your controllers? What a damn mess. 5/15
NO NO NO WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU BLOCK BLOCK BLOCK 6/15
I like bananas as much as the next lady but sir you need to get your piece off of the kitchen counter ffs. 7/15
Your lighting is shit but this is an improvement. Try a different spot with more sun? Maybe crop a little? Smile? At least I can see your body. 8/15
Is that...are you....is that your fucking dog?!? 9/15
Look. We are all middle aged, ok? That doesn& #39;t mean we can& #39;t be our best selves! Sit up, suck it in, and zoom out for the love of everything holy 10/15
Hey, this is better! I can see your body! You could maybe crop and get a better angle, but look at you! Using mirrors! Wow! 11/15
Is my cucumber in this pic? It sure is! Is it the first thing you see? It sure isn& #39;t! Also, did you know you can drop a filer on a pic easy peasy? Really makes those colors pop. Give it a shot! 12/15
Did you know phones have TIMERS?? 13/15
