If you tell people unrelated to the abuse you experienced about your abuser, you're ruining their lives by ruining their reputation
If you don't tell others who they haven't hurt, then you're putting potential victims at risk
Here's an idea: don't put the responsibility on us

I've actively refrained from telling people who were close to my abusers about what they did because I knew it wouldn't go well for me. This meant I had to remove myself from spaces or face constant discomfort. Reaching out often requires reliving the abuse and hoping ur believed

Not to mention the fear hammered into you that you ARE ruining their life by taking away their friends. Nevermind that they chose to be an asshole and could possibly hurt others, the fear is there, and that keeps you quiet

This thread inspired by me unwillingly being placed in a group chat with my abusers family member who waxes poetic about how she's the nicest person in the world. Y'all need to appreciate the emotional labor victims go through bc our experiences go far beyond what u can imagine