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CN: CSA
Some of you know that I’m studying to become a SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) nurse one day. This letter from mega church pastor @johnortberg’s pedophile son to his former ultimate frisbee team is covered in red flags. Parents should know why. Let’s break it down. https://twitter.com/graceelavery/status/1283071995362660352">https://twitter.com/graceelav...
Some of you know that I’m studying to become a SART (Sexual Assault Response Team) nurse one day. This letter from mega church pastor @johnortberg’s pedophile son to his former ultimate frisbee team is covered in red flags. Parents should know why. Let’s break it down. https://twitter.com/graceelavery/status/1283071995362660352">https://twitter.com/graceelav...
The backstory: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/john-ortberg-menlo-church_n_5f04e820c5b67a80bbffcdc4">https://www.huffpost.com/entry/joh...
Note: I am not involved in this case and cannot speak to illegal activity as that has not been proven. What we have here is a self-confessed pedophile who worked with children continuously post confession. I would like to examine the issues revealed in this letter only.
The 1st glaring alarm is that Johnny Ortberg sent this letter to the parents AND adolescent team members. If he felt he *had* to send a letter to exonerate himself, it should’ve ONLY gone to the parents. To the adults. Imagine being 13 and receiving this. Utterly inappropriate.
I was struck by the "the situation is a mess, and not a good source of information on me" line here. He denies everything without refuting a single specific thing. This is a theme in the letter because he most likely can& #39;t refute the claims against him. I found it quite chilling.
This paragraph is a tell. He uses the word "loved" three times and is much too invested in the dynamics of adolescent cliques because he is relating to the kids as if they& #39;re on the same level. It& #39;s called age-inappropriate interaction and it is textbook.
Johnny says he never abused or groomed which is wild because this letter is, well, grooming. He’s telling children how they should see their reality. If a teen feels icky about an interaction they had, well don’t worry because that clearly wasn’t abuse. It’s circular reasoning.
Also “that’s simply not a temptation for me” is sure jarring here! Be wary of people seeking your trust who give you unsolicited promises/details. It often means they’ll do the opposite of what they promised. By offering up this unasked for denial, Johnny shows he was tempted.
Also can we talk about this weird false equivalency he makes between not being a perfect frisbee coach and having obsessive sexual thoughts about children? One is not the same as the other...
Hooo boy, the gall of saying he feels empathetic if this letter is triggering! And once again he claims he just wants to share his truth without actually divulging anything specific. More obfuscation and minimization.
The final paragraph. The insidiousness of offering to speak to the teens he was mentoring and offer “resources” about these allegations. Also he’s saying one thing while saying the opposite: he’s reminding his audience that his feelings are involved and that they WILL be hurt.
This letter centered Johnny and his emotions. This letter shows that Johnny is the absolute worst judge of his own behavior. This letter shows that a pedophile who interacts with children, but doesn& #39;t physically harm the child can still cause so much damage and confusion.
If my nephew showed me an email like this, I& #39;d be incandescent with rage at the adult who sent it and do everything within my power to keep this person from being around children or adolescents. I& #39;d raise absolute hell.
All this to say: predators seek out authority in the community, access, and respectability. They& #39;re usually likable, charming people who lie to themselves and others. Teach children that they do not have to be cowed by or always submit to adults. That they have autonomy.
And I am so incredibly sorry for all the children and teenagers who interacted with Johnny over the years and now have to sit with these unsettling revelations. It is not your fault and you did nothing wrong: not ever, not even once.
Thank you to Danny Lavery and his partner Grace for standing tall and brave and for demanding accountability and justice. It makes me so hopeful as I embark on this new career path.
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