[Thread] I need to come clean. I've had this on my mind the past 7 months, ever since I deleted all the videos off my YouTube channel. There is a secondary reason behind why I deleted everything. And it's high time I stop holding back, and man up.

So obviously by now, you all know the main reason I deleted my vids was because of my freak out over the COPPA law thing. I didn't want to worry about mislabeling my vids and channel as "kid friendly" or "not for kids" and get fined for each mislabeled video.

That... That COPPA law thing was to me, a happy coincidental reason to stop doing YouTube vids. But why? That's where the other reason comes in. The other reason I gave up and deleted everything was because of lack of motivation, depression, and my obsession with channel stats.

Don't get me wrong, in the more than 4 years I did do vids, I enjoyed doing it. But... I just wasn't in the constantly positive mind space to do vids on a weekly schedule and call it "quality content".

The signs were there, and pretty obvious. From the constant "breaks" I took, to resorting making "weekly vlogs" just to meet my 1 vid a week quota. Not to mention from time to time having some financial issues that took a week to 2 or 3 weeks at a time to figure out.

The fact of the matter was I wasn't prepared to be a YouTuber. In my 4 years on YouTube, I gained only 75 subscribers, where others had upwards of at least 1,000. My view counts were just as bad, garnering about 10 to 25 views per vid.

I kept saying "I'm not doing it for views of money, or fame." But that was only partially true. I had gotten offers from some small brands/companies to sponsor videos on my channel, but because of my distrust and skepticism, I turned them down. Big mistake.

So there you have it. The truth, the WHOLE truth. I will say this, if I had the chance to go back and start from scratch with my YouTube channel, I would. But... I would miss the support I got from the people I met in the small youtuber community.

My biggest inspirations during my time as a small youtuber, starmaladee, Ellie Does Life, Tiffany Jane (aka TJ and the kicks), Felicia Ann (Fefe Felicia Ann), and many others I watched as I was starting out. You all helped me to want to keep going, even when I felt down and out.

I can't say it enough, thank you to everyone in the small YouTuber community that kept me going til the very end. My time as a small YouTuber was full of ups and downs, but I'm glad I took a chance, and I wish the best for every one of you in the future.

To end this thread on a positively, to anyone starting out on YouTube, you're going to have your own trials and tribulations. But keep pushing no matter what, because you never know just what'll happen. Even if you tail, you'll have succeeded in learning something from experience

With that said, as always, stay positive, stay safe, and as I always like to say... Stay nerdy