We’re going to be dealing with the pandemic & subsequent fall out for a long long time. And that makes me very sad.

I’ve made a conscious effort to avoid emo tweets but I think it’s worth sharing that I’ve been having a hard time with all this. It’s just so weird. Dizzying even? Good days & bad days have become good hours & then really bad hours where I feel terrible & anxious.

Then there’s what I can only describe as survivors guilt? Like. I’m healthy, employed & comfortable but at times I feel an overwhelming sense of shame. Like. How silly to feel depressed when by all accounts I’m doing “well” in the midst of a really scary & unprecented time

I think the hardest thing has been realizing how so many people care so little for one another in this country. I mean, it’s not a total shock but it still feels really bad. we could’ve avoided this whole situation but we’re here bc our government & a ton of people are selfish

And while social media has fueled a lot of my pandemic anxiety it’s also given me a much needed sense of community & endless laughs. Like, tears streaming down my face on the daily laughs. And I’ve needed those really badly. So thanks for that.

I don’t share this for sympathy, but mainly bc every day there seems to be a competition to prove who’s having the “harder” quarantine. when in reality this shit is hard for all of us for a variety of reasons. And it’s ok to admit that & allow yourself to feel however you feel.