I talked to an abolitionist friend about her belief that all people are redeemable. Since then, I've been thinking about how we (culturally) don't allow people to redeem themselves & grow. We often see them as fixed/ unchanged; especially Black women.

Who gets to make mistakes?

I write all of this to say. I get stuff wrong. I am sure, somewhere, there's someone who thinks I'm the worst person in the world. And that person is wrong broadly but they're probably right about a specific incident. Part of doing self-work/ reflection & thinking about this 2/

Has required me to really imagine how I reconcile my own prior acts of harm. *AND* I know no one owes me acceptance nor forgiveness.

We do owe one another the space to exist and to honor: this person did this thing in this moment of time *and* they've probably changed. 3/

Whether that change is for better or worse? YMMV. But culturally we really, really suck at allowing people space to grow especially young people.

Now, I am not saying let's all kumbaya with known and continuous racists. Full stop. 4/

And, people need to have the space to revisit the error of their ways and to change their opinions, perspectives, and beliefs.

I'm a lot of things: intelligent, annoying, supportive, honest to a fault, overly kind, resting bitch face.

How you meet & engage people matters. 5/

The point in times you meet and engage with people matters.

Are they recently divorced/ heartbroken?
Dealing with the reality that they're a sexual/ domestic violence survivor?
Financially stressed?

I have not reached full abolitionist, & I may never get there... 6/

But in my daily life and in non-carceral situations, I am constantly thinking about growth, change, and space to have one's humanity fully realized.

I will never be everyone's cup of tea as a self-assured Black woman-- but I can work to be better for myself & others daily. fin/

P.S. get out of my head @shaddaee