Everyone thinks they are too smart to wind up the victim of abuse and that is *exactly* why everyone is at risk of being abused.

Abusers will earn your trust before they turn abusive. While there may be some red flags early on, they’re usually pretty subtle; if you don’t know what to watch for, you won’t see it. (And you might not see it at all even if you do know what to watch for!)

Once the abuse begins, you’re already in too deep, and *that* is where the problem starts. Your brain doesn’t want to acknowledge that you’re being abused, because that would mean you were stupid enough to trust an abuser. And that can’t be the case. You’re not stupid!

So you rationalize everything: every insult, every injury, every restriction on your behavior. The criticisms? They must be valid and a reflection of your lack of worth. The restrictive rules? They’re for your own good. The erratic behavior? You provoked it.

It is often really, really difficult to accept that you have been a victim of abuse. It’s not fun. It doesn’t feel good. Honestly it can be embarrassing and humiliating and dehumanizing. But accepting it is the only way out of it.

Anyway. I had an abusive partner, I’ve had numerous abusive bosses, and I still can’t say for sure that I will never be subjected to abuse again. I *think* I am better at avoiding it now, but that’s only because my hand’s been burned enough times to know the sensation.

I’m more willing and able to listen to the voice in my head that says a situation is bad for me, and I’m more willing and able to leave said situation than I was when I was younger. Also I just avoid a lot of people/situations to begin with, lol (there’s a reason I freelance!).

But I’ll never say that I’m too “smart” or too “strong” to be victimized again. Because that is exactly how you wind up susceptible to victimization.

This too https://twitter.com/b_imdanadane_/status/1283582372034875392?s=21 https://twitter.com/b_imdanadane_/status/1283582372034875392