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im starting to let go to the point where i recognize me missing the past doesnt mean it would work now or even in the future. i know i& #39;ll grow past this and meet new people and get closer to current friends, and it seems to be best for both me and my other friend
we& #39;re different people now and stuff they said to me while understandable is something i can& #39;t get over in a week or month or even a year. i think if i get past the point of feeling guilty and beating myself up it& #39;s a sign i& #39;ve lost hope and know i can& #39;t do anymore
i was far from perfect but i did the best with what i knew about my situation at the time and with the cards i was dealt. ive reflected on myself and my actions and i& #39;ve grown and i& #39;m still struggling to keep my head above water. i never expected someone to come back
rather it& #39;s the seeming lack of self awareness about their own words and actions that have hurt me. they say actions > words all the time yet dont see how their own actions dont match their words. i tried for them yet never has that once been acknowledged.
i go out of my way to say that i know they tried and did their best, and to show that i hear their point of view and how they feel, but ive never gotten that back and it hurts. as ive said i dont want them to stay in a situation that hurt them, but im still allowed to be hurt too
and ofc never is an extreme statement but i cant remember a time they have since the on and off and push and pull started. ig i dont have the right to vent abt this because as ive said im not innocent but being falsely accused is infuriating to me, ig triggering in a way gfhghfh
