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Up until about 8 months ago, I used to be a diehard liberal feminist & TRA. I had actually been raised thinking that trans people were just “born in the wrong body”. I never questioned that rhetoric as it was what I heard all around me and from even my own mother.
So, what peaked me? I was scrolling one day through /r/plasticsurgery and came across a post about breast implants. One of the top comments was by a trans woman. I forget what exactly they said, but I became curious and clicked on their profile to read more.
Here are some of the things they said that first made me realize something was deeply misogynistic about the idea of identifying as a woman:
This was a hookup-seeking post they made. They described themselves as high-femme, and I thought to myself, is this what they think femininity is? Looking like a literal sexdoll? At the time, I identified as a woman and I felt like this description was disgustingly regressive.
I believed TRA rhetoric that said trans women simply had “female brains” & that they “felt like women.” I remember thinking, if that’s what feeling like a woman is, then what the hell am I? I thought we wanted to escape sexual objectification, not augment ourselves to attract it
I read further and found yet another disgusting, degrading, & horribly misogynistic definition of femininity - which at the time, I’d been led to believe is what defined me as a woman. I remember feeling sick as their definition of women reminded of how so many men defined it.
I then found the essay they wrote about their transition & fetish of becoming a “bimbo”. This person is a self-admitted pervert, someone whose female identity hinges on being perceived as one of the most regressive stereotypes of women.
The essay is horribly disturbing to read and essentially chronicles his porn addiction. Here he is describing that he knew from a young age that he wanted to be treated like a woman, specifically an 18 yr old girl. What specifically does that mean?
I was an underage girl on the internet from ages 12-17. Do you want to know how I, and so many of peers, were treated? We were groomed by men 2-4x our age. I don’t think I will ever be able to unlearn the trauma I experienced daily as a result of being a girl on the internet.
My initial reaction was guilt-I shouldn’t be thinking badly about the intentions of transwomen. I shared the posts with my circle of female friends & we collectively agreed if that’s what being a woman was, we weren’t women.
As I talked w my friends & read this person’s posts, it felt like something clicked in my brain. I began searching “transwomen misogynistic stereotypes” to see if anyone else had noticed this, or if I was just an intolerant prude. It was then that I came across /r/GenderCritical.
I was shocked to find out that other women were just as horrified as I was and that I wasn’t alone. While I’m grateful to have found this community, it’s soul crushing to be conscious of how rampant misogyny & the hatred of women is in our society & even personal relationships.
“Many women, I think, resist feminism because it is an agony to be fully conscious of the brutal misogyny which permeates culture, society, and all personal relationships.” - Andrea Dworkin
