Anyone who knows me, online or in real life knows that I am an anti-racist. I don’t tolerate racial, ethnic or religious hatred from anyone to anyone.

But I think we often talk past each other on issues of race. Because we don’t try to see things from each other’s perspective. https://twitter.com/thevaluesvoter/status/1283378639992750082

Let’s start with the phrase “Black Lives Matter.” To some white folks, when they hear that phrase, they hear an implication that their lives don’t matter.

Spoiler: Never in the history of America has anyone thought that white people’s lives don’t matter.

We’re not so fortunate.

What happens when a white woman goes missing? It’s going to be the headline story on Fox News (unless there’s a caravan heading north from Mexico that day). Especially if she’s pretty.

When black women go missing, it’s rare that we ever even learn their names.

The reason that people came up with the term “Black Lives Matter” is because a lot of black folks feel that our lives don’t matter to society at large. At least not equally.

But to get that, you need to look at it from the other person’s point of view.

Like I say all the time, racism (which I define as the belief that one group of people is somehow inferior) is wrong. Most reasonable and good people can believe that. It’s all wrong. Regardless of who exhibits it.

Then why do some people try to expand the definition of it?

I make no secret of my disdain for people like Louis Farrakhan, who I believe is racist and anti-Semitic. But if you are a white person, what is this person able to actually do to you? Can he fire you? Can he deny you a bank loan? Can he deny you a promotion? Arrest you? No.

This person who doesn’t like you because of your race or your religion is just as morally wrong in his mentality as any other racist. But to you, he’s harmless. He has zero impact on your life.

Some of the people who are racist against me actually do have the ability to hurt me.

Most of the people who impact the meaningful aspects of my well-being are not of my hue. Which means that if they were racist, they would have the ability to hurt me in ways that are more impactful than mere annoyance.

That’s why people talk about power being a component of racism. I disagree with them on the definition of racism; anybody can be racist and anyone can be a victim of it. But this is why they say that. Because racism especially sucks when the racist can actually hurt you.

One more thing here - the concept of systemic racism. Some of my white brethren will hear the very words “systemic racism” and interpret it as a personal accusation of being a racist. Let me try to translate what people mean when they use those terms.

My great-grandfather was considered the legal property of a white man. It was entirely legal. Even Constitutional.

My great-grandfather and grandfather were US Citizens but did not have the right to go to the same schools as the white citizens who lived in their town. Legal.

Couldn’t eat in certain restaurants, stay in certain hotels. Were paid less for doing the same work just because of the color of their skin. Denied opportunities for higher education. All legal. It was institutionalized. Racism codified into laws enforced by our government.

Even my father was, by company policy, not paid the same as his white co-workers. Not given a chance to apply for the same jobs. Last in line for promotions, vacations and the rest. And it was entirely LEGAL.

The point here: when you look at a typical family, you have the concept of wealth being passed down generation to generation. Money. Houses. Land. Assets that grow cumulatively over time.

Any honest person would acknowledge that if one group of people are legally denied these basic equalities for hundreds of years, that group will be at a disadvantage even years later.

That’s what is meant. Inequality that was protected by our very system of government.

And, on the other side, to my black brethren, when white people complain about people like Farrakhan and those who quote him being racist, they are referring to the fact that even despite the fact that these folks may not have power over them, they’re still expressing hatred.

And if you ever want to confuse the heck out of people who have been taught to believe that it’s wrong to hate entire races or religions, say that you think it’s wrong too and then idolize people who do exactly that. It’s hypocritical.

We have to get out of our own personal view of the world and try to imagine what the person from another background means when they say things.

And there’s no way to do that without getting to know them personally.

We need to talk. And listen. And look at it from the other side