I'm not verified so feel free to text/Signal me your tweets and I'll tweet them for you.

I'm currently getting word from @MerriamWebster that they would like to remind everyone that a hot dog is, indeed, a sandwich.

Bill Gates just sent this: "Please share with your followers that while I am not part of a conspiracy related to 5G, I am however working on a new plan requiring all implementations of 6G to require mobile devices to have a CONFIG.SYS file"

Just one moment ago @anildash let me know that he wants everyone to know that "I was hacked."

From @elonmusk I have to report: "Alex was going to make up a fake tweet that was supposed to be from me, but they all still sounded believable no matter how absurd."

A big one coming in now. @jack wants everyone to know: "I don't actually use this platform. What is everyone talking about?"

In a blast from the past, my old friend @SheaSerrano would like everyone to know that the actual best rap song from 2000 was "Thong Song" by Sisqo.

Next up is @QuinnyPig who says, "I'm not actually verified, but I'm really sick and tired of tweeting things myself."

Wow. These just won't stop. @dog_rates just texted me to say that "they're actually all bad dogs, brint"

Got a hot one incoming from @tacobell. Apparently during these dark times EVERYONE GETS ONE FREE CRUNCHY TACO SUPREME if you show this tweet at the register.

A message from @chrissyteigen, who I didn't even realize had my number: "John has no idea what is going on with the twitter hack, but to be honest, nobody's reading HIS twitter anyway."

We got a big one here. @BethesdaStudios wants me to let everyone know that: "The next game is subtitled Elsweyr and will be available this fall."

My phone just keeps blowing up. Next up @NYGovCuomo would like to remind to you: "WEAR YOUR FUCKING MASKS ASSHOLES."

In the shocker of the century, I just got this text from both @allspaw AND @lhochstein which says, "Actually, root cause analysis and the Five Whys are sufficient in our understanding of incidents."

They're not verified accounts, but they texted me anyway for some reason.