oof, i didn't mean for this to become a thread but.. here it is:

the problem is that when you tell people "you're being antisemitic/racist/homophobic/misogynistic" what they hear is that you are accusing them of 1. being hateful and 2. being a bad person

this is why it's so hard to root this stuff out: a fundamental misunderstanding of what words mean and a completely natural, human desire to defend your intentions and your self-perception as a good person

also conspiracy theories and strongly held prejudices make us feel smart and safe, two things we seem to be wired to pursue the way we do food and sex

unfortunately, we haven't normalized being wrong, really apologizing, growing and learning as the true indicators of a morally, ethically good personhood -- the downside to the shaming tactics we too often default to when addressing social missteps

we have to do a better job of explaining to ppl -- compassionately -- how and why the things they said/did cause harm. if, after they've received that explanation, they continue, then we can write them off

some folks just learn slower than others and that's okay. but while they're learning, they should probably not be allowed a soapbox in the town square