THREAD

A successful marriage guidance given by the Messenger of Allah.

A criteria for a God fearing woman, who wants to please Allah and enter paradise.

A mindset that opposes the western liberal feminist approach in how a wife should be.

Unfortunately divorce has become a serious worry for many, those thinking about marriage or the newly married.

Divorce isn’t only a problem in the west, it’s an issue everywhere, and perhaps our way of looking at divorce differs with how the early generations viewed it.

A common factor we find in many early marriage breakdowns, amongst young couples, is the fact the mindset of the wife is very unislamic. She enters the marriage with the view that she has the upper hand, and if her husband doesn’t fulfil her duties, she’ll DIVORCE him!

Which has several contradictions to clear cut Islamic principles.

Allah says

"الرِّجالُ قَوّامونَ عَلَى النِّساءِ بِما فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعضَهُم عَلى بَعضٍ وَبِما أَنفَقوا مِن أَموالِهِم"

Men are the protectors and l maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them

to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Surah An Nisa

And Allah also says,

"أَو يَعفُوَ الَّذي بِيَدِهِ عُقدَةُ النِّكاحِ"

or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it.
(Surah Al Baqara)

Here allah is referring to the marriage contract as being in the hands of the husband. (Refer back to the books of Tafsir)

Another point is that the western laws has allowed women to divorce their husbands. This is unheard of in the law of Allah!

A woman can ask for the marriage to be dissolved from the Shariah Judge, due to the husband not fulfilling his obligations SET BY ALLAH, known as an annulment, and she can ask for a separation whilst returning back some of the dowry.

As for a woman saying to her husband,

You are divorced, or I divorce you, this has no weight in the shariah of Allah

Even in the Arabic language, when there’s a word that’s specific to women only and not men, the ة at the end of word isn’t needed. An example of that is, حامل for a woman that’s pregnant. Usually you

Would add ة to indicate that you are referring to a woman, but due to only women being able to get pregnant, the ة isn’t needed. Likewise the word طالق, divorced, as the man is the one that says it, and not the woman, there’s no need for the ة.

What is this prophetic guidance of a successful marriage.

Abu Huraira reports that Prophet SAW was asked, which is the best woman (referring to a wife), he SAW said, “the one that he is pleased with when he looks at her, and she obeys him when he commands her, and she doesn’t

Disobey him in herself and her wealth by that which he dislikes.”
In Sunan An Nasa’i

Three guidelines were set for the successful marriage, for the best wife, for the true God fearing Muslim woman that is eager for Allahs reward.

1) She’s in a state that always pleases him when he looks at her.

This not only entails her beauty, but her character and mannerisms, likewise her in a state of worshipping Allah and not indulging in sin.

2) She obeys him in that which he asks of her so long it doesn’t oppose the shariah of Allah. She does so willingly and joyfully, not expressing anger nor stubbornness. She believes that her door to paradise, after fulfilling Allahs commandments, is to please her husband.

3) She doesn’t allow men in her house nor does she cheat on her husband. She takes care of his wealth and doesn’t misuse it nor spend excessively without his permission or consent.

When a marriage is built upon Islamic guidelines, each having their role and duty, that serves

Each other and complements one another, and not competes and battles against one another, then the marriage is a marriage built upon the Sunnah, and has the recipe for success in this world and the next.