I turned off my account privacy, because I don’t have anything to lose now. This is me. You may freely read my thoughts.

It’s not like people are interested knowing my story, but I’m just tired of being scared. So, this is freeing myself.

I’m a PK. I’m a bisexual.

2015
My ex-girlfriend found out that I was hooking up with a guy, and then she told my sister.

2015. My dad found out, because I forgot to logout my fb account on his laptop. I got a beating.

I was an off-air DJ for a Christian Radio station. He forced me to resign from my part-time job because as per him, I didn’t fit the belief of the station.

I was also a worship leader back then, but was forced to quit from the ministry because he said I was troubled and people might stumble because of me.

I ran away and lived with my ex-boyfriend. I was broke, and he helped me find a job, financed me with the requirements I needed.

In the span of 2 weeks, I was hired, but I decided to come back home because my mom didn’t crying. She was crying while on the phone with me. I can’t stand hurting my mom.

*didn’t stop crying

My relationship with my dad was still difficult. He acted like I wasn’t home at all.

2016. I started working, and it opened me to a lot of possibilities.

2017. I left home to work in Cebu. I was with the only bestfriend I think I have. @lnnhjsmn We were together facing the uncertainty of landing a job. We were together eating biscuit as a meal. I wouldn’t have survived it without her.

So finally, I got hired after being jobless for a month and my resources almost running out. I met people from work who inspired to express myself more. I was inspired by people who weren’t afraid of showing who they are.

I applied for an internal job hiring for a higher position, and I got in. I met someone from the same department who eventually became my boyfriend.

We lived together - until I decided to come to Dubai. 2019. We planned everything, and talked that distance shouldn’t get in between us.

So, I left Philippines January 2019. We were doing good until I had less time for him. A lot were happening to me, while he was stuck with our old environment and had separation anxiety.

I handled it badly and we broke up on February. To my surprise, he followed me in Dubai on March. Just few days after my birthday. We didn’t get back together because I said I needed to focus on myself more.

We see each other few times until I realized on December that I still love him. I found out someone was flirting with him, and I can’t stand the idea of him being with somebody else because I let him go.

We got back to each other December 25th. I was lucky that his love for me was bigger than the mistakes I’ve made. He accepted me back. We were so inlove. We were living so much better that the life we had in PH.

But COVID came and got separated. He got anxious and got paranoid. We broke up again.

Last week, I wanted to check on him because I wanted to make sure he’s doing good because in the end, I am still the reason why he came here.

I unblocked him, and checked his facebook account and there I found out that he’s now in a relationship with another guy.

Well, I am pretty fucked up right now. I know you expected a lesson in the end of this thread, but there’s none. Life is a process and a lot of things happen and a lot of times not according to your plan.

Right now, I just really want to focus on myself for real, and trust the process. I am in pain and I will get better.