writing this for myself. july 15th 2020. is the date where i, for the first time took the exam for one of the subject for the course that im currently studying which is my management accounting subject. the result? disappointing. thats it. thats the only word that can be used

to describe what i got, and what i felt. the moment i clicked the exit button and saw my result, i knew i fucked up. i knew i tanked. and i definitely flopped. but still, theres still a bit of hope in me as the mark that i got were still can be considered high if u take into

account the average marks that the whole class got for our internal tests and mock exams. with that tiny little hope, i walked out from the exam center knowing i will be approached by my classmates and will be asked what did i score. the moment i told them what my score was,

i can see how unimpressed their face was. i immediately knew at that moment that yes theres someone that scored higher than me. i mean yes i could totally understand their expression. i scored highest not once but multiple times kot for our internal tests and mock exams

ofc there will be some expectation that people put on me for this real final exam. but, im not sad due to me not being the highest. i became devastated once i knew what my friends which i considered as my circle, scored for the exam.

all of them scored 90 and above. basically higher than me. yes ofc im sooooooo soooooo happy for them. not dengki, but the fact that they were the one that always referred to me whenever they have something that they were unsure about, made me feel......... like shit and stupid.

we shouldve excelled the exam together. not me being the only one flopped, tanked. i hate myself so much after that. even worse, i really feel like crying at that time but i suppressed it with all my might, tryna act all natural and pretended like everything was fine.

iwtd.

but sokay. the reason im writing this is bcs i wanted to end my thoughts with positivity. ukno, life will not always go how u want it to be. there will be ups and ofc there will be downs. i already had my moment when i scored the highest for my tests and mock exams. thanks to ded

people started to approach me and knows me. im beyond grateful for that. at the end of the day, what u scored doesnt defines who u are right. i only flopped this once so am i suddenly a dumbfuck? no. there must be a reason why my mark were like that. i might be too overconfident?

who knows????? theres still plenty of subjects in the future where i will have yet another chance to prove my capability and push myself to its limit. as for now, lets take what just happened as a lesson that can be learnt and look from the positive perspective

i have another exam for another subject this friday. tbh my target for that subject is 100. i can do it. i will get it. my motivation to get 100 for that subject is above the roof now. but ill start revising tomorrow okay lmaooooo. i mean i really need some mental rest hahsgahg

i was too sad earlier i even cried hahagahagahag. spm pon aku tak nangis nyah ko bayangkan betapa sedih aku rasa tadi. anywayssssss will update this thread later on friday. lets pray that ill be updating this thread while being happy and smiling :)

sumpah tacod bismillah

OMG I ALMOST FORGOT TO UPDATE THIS THREAD AHAHAHHA I GOT 94 DIDNT GET A 100 BUT SOKAY I LEFT THE EXAM CENTER FEELING A WHOLE LOT BETTER TODAY AND THATS WHAT MATTERS alhamdulillah :)

remind me to not do anything bad or joking in a not so mannered way with yati emo geng days before exam told singlenopie to get surgery earlier and i think thats why i werent able to score 100

but i apologised oredi k https://twitter.com/duhbij/status/1284051997360943104?s=19