When my mother was marrying my stepdad, he had 2 kids. My grandma sat her down and told her, if she wasn't ready to love his kids like her own, then she should leave him to find someone who would. Meanwhile his family spent their entire marriage complaining about her having me.

The fact that she had a child, meant she was not good for their son. They believed he deserved a woman without a child. It's always amazed me how society thinks a man, despite having many children only deserves the "best" while a woman with a child(ren) isn't good enough.

A man without a child is a prize and if he marrys a woman with a child, he is celebrated for being good, kind and understanding but everyone will think he settled. Should he marry a woman with more kids he will be hailed a saint, people will be convinced it's juju or madness.

And women with no children? They are expected to get what comes their way. Should they refuse to date men with kids, they are seen as heartless, evil and undeserving of anything good. Which is such a sick and fucked up concept. We know so many women who are asked to leave...

Children with their parents as they enter new marriages, because there is only room for the man's kids. Let me just say that is some fucking bullshit. If men aren't going to love your kids like your own, then they should leave you because they are holding up the line.

You and your children deserve to be with someone who understands that when you get with a single mother, you are choosing to be actively present as a father and guardian. They come as a package and if you can't handle it leave that family alone. Also don't expect praise.

And women , my loves, learn to be as self loving as men. You too deserve to marry men without kids. If a man without kids is a prize then honey you are the sun. You don't want to be a stepmother? That's perfectly okay, tell these men you don't date men with kids. It's your right.