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F1 DRIVERS AS TEA
A THREAD BY A SMALL CHAOTIC WOMAN
A THREAD BY A SMALL CHAOTIC WOMAN
(DISCLAIMER: just know that I took genuine time to curate this (lockdown has ended me) and there is nothing you can say to make me feel ashamed of this thread. You can try, but I simply do not care 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙂" title="Leicht lächelndes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Leicht lächelndes Gesicht"> THANKS BYE)
Lewis Hamilton: Darjeeling
Often described as the ‘champagne of teas’ , this tea is very much boujee with a complex flavour profilehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken">
Often described as the ‘champagne of teas’ , this tea is very much boujee with a complex flavour profile
Valtteri Bottas: Coffee
You really think I could assign a tea to this man? No. His body is a solid 40% coffee. Change my mind.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="☕️" title="Heißgetränk" aria-label="Emoji: Heißgetränk">
You really think I could assign a tea to this man? No. His body is a solid 40% coffee. Change my mind.
Sebastian Vettel: Earl Grey
Timeless, sophisticated and tasteful. It’s generally enjoyed by everyone and is exciting and reliablehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌺" title="Hibiskus" aria-label="Emoji: Hibiskus">
Timeless, sophisticated and tasteful. It’s generally enjoyed by everyone and is exciting and reliable
Charles Leclerc: Chai
Both sweet and spicy. A pleasant and warming herbal alternative to your basic black and green teas but can also pack an unexpected punchhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍂" title="Gefallenes Blatt" aria-label="Emoji: Gefallenes Blatt">
Both sweet and spicy. A pleasant and warming herbal alternative to your basic black and green teas but can also pack an unexpected punch
Max Verstappen: Lemon and Ginger
Very energising, a kind of chaotic and ‘in your face’ flavour profile if you brew it for long enough, disappointing if you don’t. Packs a BIG punch but in a good wayhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍋" title="Zitrone" aria-label="Emoji: Zitrone">
Very energising, a kind of chaotic and ‘in your face’ flavour profile if you brew it for long enough, disappointing if you don’t. Packs a BIG punch but in a good way
Alex Albon: Peach
Sweet and refreshing. If brewed for long enough and given enough attention it has a bold fruity flavour and is very much like a breath of fresh airhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍑" title="Pfirsich" aria-label="Emoji: Pfirsich">
Sweet and refreshing. If brewed for long enough and given enough attention it has a bold fruity flavour and is very much like a breath of fresh air
Lando Norris: Sakura
It’s pink and flowery, come ON. It warms your soul, with a light, floral and plum like flavour which just gives happy vibes to be honesthttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌸" title="Kirschblüte" aria-label="Emoji: Kirschblüte">
It’s pink and flowery, come ON. It warms your soul, with a light, floral and plum like flavour which just gives happy vibes to be honest
Carlos Sainz: Caramel Brownie
This tea appears to be great; sounds good, the concept is good, if brewed well it can be good, but can very easily let you downhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍫" title="Schokoriegel" aria-label="Emoji: Schokoriegel">
This tea appears to be great; sounds good, the concept is good, if brewed well it can be good, but can very easily let you down
Daniel Ricciardo: Senna
This shit CLEANSES YOUR SOUL AND YOUR BODY. Wanna live a happy and healthy live? Drink up kidshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍃" title="Im Wind flatterndes Blatt" aria-label="Emoji: Im Wind flatterndes Blatt">
This shit CLEANSES YOUR SOUL AND YOUR BODY. Wanna live a happy and healthy live? Drink up kids
Esteban Ocon: Green
Healthy, happy, a ton of cognitive and physical benefits and good for the soul. Reliable and usually takes people by surprise by how it’s better than expectedhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌿" title="Kräuter" aria-label="Emoji: Kräuter">
Healthy, happy, a ton of cognitive and physical benefits and good for the soul. Reliable and usually takes people by surprise by how it’s better than expected
Pierre Gasly: Chamomile
The vibes are peaceful and immaculate. Chamomile increases the release of dopamine in the brain meaning consumption can make you happy and calmhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧚🏻" title="Fee (heller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Fee (heller Hautton)">
The vibes are peaceful and immaculate. Chamomile increases the release of dopamine in the brain meaning consumption can make you happy and calm
Daniil Kvyat: Mint
Kind of flavourless at first sip, but every once in a while you get a rare bit of BAM leaving you pleasantly surprised, although most wouldn’t make it a frequent beverage or are even intimidated by ithttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌱" title="Setzling" aria-label="Emoji: Setzling">
Kind of flavourless at first sip, but every once in a while you get a rare bit of BAM leaving you pleasantly surprised, although most wouldn’t make it a frequent beverage or are even intimidated by it
Lance Stroll: Matcha
Lance is a fucking valley girl change my mind. If he wasn’t an F1 driver he’d be a Magcon boy or some shit and you KNOW he’s getting those basic drinkshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍵" title="Teetasse ohne Henkel" aria-label="Emoji: Teetasse ohne Henkel">
Lance is a fucking valley girl change my mind. If he wasn’t an F1 driver he’d be a Magcon boy or some shit and you KNOW he’s getting those basic drinks
Sergio Perez: White
Sophisticated and light with a floral flavour profile. Overall quite pleasant and well paired with fruity flavours which make it refreshing and highly ratedhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐚" title="Muschelschale" aria-label="Emoji: Muschelschale">
Sophisticated and light with a floral flavour profile. Overall quite pleasant and well paired with fruity flavours which make it refreshing and highly rated
Kimi Raikkonen: Pu’erh
Aged for a long time, often DECADES in order for the flavours to reach their full potential. Smooth and mature profile, a sophisticated choicehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌚" title="Neumond mit Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Neumond mit Gesicht">
Aged for a long time, often DECADES in order for the flavours to reach their full potential. Smooth and mature profile, a sophisticated choice
Antonio Giovinazzi: Hibiscus
A tart flavour, often with a mild cranberry flavour (aka almost flavourless but not quite). A deep red colour that kind of saves the whole thinghttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌹" title="Rose" aria-label="Emoji: Rose">
A tart flavour, often with a mild cranberry flavour (aka almost flavourless but not quite). A deep red colour that kind of saves the whole thing
Kevin Magnussen: Rooibos
Smoky and earthy but overall very pleasant, often with some caramel undertones to the flavour. Nicely averagehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍁" title="Ahornblatt" aria-label="Emoji: Ahornblatt">
Smoky and earthy but overall very pleasant, often with some caramel undertones to the flavour. Nicely average
Romain Grosjean: Lady Grey
A slightly more floral and perfumey Earl Grey. Tasteful and sophisticated but also very wholesome and refreshinghttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌷" title="Tulpe" aria-label="Emoji: Tulpe">
A slightly more floral and perfumey Earl Grey. Tasteful and sophisticated but also very wholesome and refreshing
Nicholas Latifi: Oolong
Not great if you don’t allow it sufficient time to steep, but given enough time it had a lot of potential. It varies based on the attention you give it, and what you add to it. Overall pleasanthttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🌞" title="Sonne mit Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Sonne mit Gesicht">
Not great if you don’t allow it sufficient time to steep, but given enough time it had a lot of potential. It varies based on the attention you give it, and what you add to it. Overall pleasant
George Russell: Assam
A staple. A respectable and reliable choice, not particularly disliked by anybody, difficult to get wrong. Can be acquired taste without the right additions but overall, undeniable potentialhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="⭐️" title="Mittelgroßer Stern" aria-label="Emoji: Mittelgroßer Stern">
A staple. A respectable and reliable choice, not particularly disliked by anybody, difficult to get wrong. Can be acquired taste without the right additions but overall, undeniable potential
BONUS TWEET https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥳" title="Partying face" aria-label="Emoji: Partying face">
Sebas-tea-an Vettel
Sebestian Kettle
Es-tea-ban Ocon
Val-tea-ri Bottas
Nicholas La-tea-fi
[please feel free to add to the tea puns]
Sebas-tea-an Vettel
Sebestian Kettle
Es-tea-ban Ocon
Val-tea-ri Bottas
Nicholas La-tea-fi
[please feel free to add to the tea puns]
