tw/ drug abuse

when i was 15, I was peer pressured into trying drugs. And after that I can truly say i was fucked, being 15, super underweight and depressed, doing drugs were something that made me happy in someway, I was stripped away from reality. it all started doing drugs

one time a week to me doing drugs 5 times a week. it felt good but the coming down from it was so bad, not eating for days, being moody all the time to people who didn't deserve that. at the time I didn't understand it because no one explained to me how coming down felt like. the

coming down felt shitty to say the least, you are mean to everyone for no reason, you feel like everyone is against you. when someone asks how you're feeling you snap back at them. while no one in my family knew what was happening to me, I saw how much it took on my mom. I did

drugs for 3 years, maybe even 3,5 years. The time just passes right thru you. you don't even notice it. When you start, it feels amazing and euphoric but then I started to have sleep paralysis and from there I started to have the shittiest nightmares ever, the word sleep was

something I didn't want to experience. I started doing more and more drugs just so I wouldn't fall asleep. because it was that bad.

It all came to a stop when I passed out in a grocery store with my mom, when I opened my eyes and saw my moms panic eyes staring right into mine.

I knew I had to stop because my body was handling too much. I knew I had to come clean to my mother. I knew she was dissapointed in me. Damn even I was disappointed in me for letting myself go that deep.
That day I understood, that I shouldn't ever use drugs.

I was clean for 3 years til 3 weeks ago when I was peer pressure again. I relapsed. But after that day, I knew in my heart, that drugs aren't for me. The relapse was so bad. It fucking sucked. It still sucks because I was so good for 3 years and then that happened.

I'm still dissapointed in myself that I did it again, but I'm here. I'm learning to get over it again. I know i dont want to do that shit again, but knowing that I was clean for 3 years and now that happened... it just makes me feel very dissapointed in myself again.

don't let anyone peer pressure you into doing drugs. It's not worth it. It's so fucking hard to come out of it. If I could say anything to my 15 year old self, I would say don't go there. If anyone has any questions or something, just know im there for you.

I had a drug problem. I'm NOT a drug problem.
I know drug abuse, isn't something that people talk about. I had no one when I had to get over it. You, if you don't have anyone, you have me. trust me, it will get better. I'm here for you, my dms are always open.

I will forever and always help you guys the way i can, it's not a shameful thing to ask for help. Please ask for help. please dm me whenever u need someone, I'm fucking always here for you guys I swear.