one of the worst jobs I’ve worked was opening shift at a bakery cafe. the regulars were ultra demanding, rude, and didn’t tip. as revenge I would tear their pastries apart w the tongs as I put them in the bag.

there was one guy who came in every day and got a toasted whole wheat roll and he wanted the butter packet placed *near* the toaster so the butter would get soft but not melt. he had a specific distance the butter had to be to the toaster.

also: mfers who come in w a specific temperature for your latte—FUCK YOU. I always said sure you got it then just made it as usual.

the two best things that happened at that job:

girl quit in the middle of am rush. she just had enough. calmly took off her apron and handed it to the manager while being addressed by a customer. it was inspiring.

the time I tore this lady’s bearclaw into like 30 pieces

how you got your pastries ripped:

1) known non tipper
2) rude
3) making me go way above and beyond, ie holding up various pastries to be inspected while the line is out the door

I would stare in the person& #39;s eyes and tear that shit to shreds inside the bag