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Hey, it& #39;s been awhile since I& #39;ve gotten super Emotional on Main and it hasn& #39;t been super totally sad, but somehow, today I& #39;m not feeling _totally_ crushed, so I want to share a context shift I& #39;m experiencing, which I hope helps me out. 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧵" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread">
I& #39;m a very empathetic person. I love talking to people and helping them in whatever ways I can, usually by letting them vent.
You (yes, you reading this) deserve to be cared for, to be heard.
But I really struggle to extend that care to myself.
I don& #39;t feel like I deserve it.
You (yes, you reading this) deserve to be cared for, to be heard.
But I really struggle to extend that care to myself.
I don& #39;t feel like I deserve it.
My therapist once described me, saying "Hey, you know those fiddler crabs? How they have one giant claw and one teeny tiny claw? You& #39;re like a fiddler crab who uses that giant claw to care for others and the teeny one for yourself."
I am bad at empathy for myself.
I am bad at empathy for myself.
You deserve care and love and support.
But I don& #39;t.
At least, that& #39;s what my brain usually tells me, often very loudly, and in These Times it& #39;s especially hard to hear that messaging.
I know I& #39;m not alone in feeling this way.
But I don& #39;t.
At least, that& #39;s what my brain usually tells me, often very loudly, and in These Times it& #39;s especially hard to hear that messaging.
I know I& #39;m not alone in feeling this way.
Today, a friend of mine linked me to this video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZXxu8AcTA
It& #39;s">https://www.youtube.com/watch... an interesting video, as someone who& #39;s both a parent and a child, but it ends with:
"... knowing how to ensure that we all have the loving childhoods we deserve"
We deserve.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fZXxu8AcTA
It& #39;s">https://www.youtube.com/watch... an interesting video, as someone who& #39;s both a parent and a child, but it ends with:
"... knowing how to ensure that we all have the loving childhoods we deserve"
We deserve.
I genuinely struggle to accept that I have any sense of innate worth or value.
Just, plain, honest and simple. I don& #39;t see it (and you won& #39;t be able to convince me).
But something about this context? Putting it into "we deserve"?
Somehow, that changes it for me.
Just, plain, honest and simple. I don& #39;t see it (and you won& #39;t be able to convince me).
But something about this context? Putting it into "we deserve"?
Somehow, that changes it for me.
I& #39;ve tried other angles.
One of my best friends told me "It& #39;s arrogant of you to think that you don& #39;t deserve good things. You& #39;ve not done something horrible to merit special punishment. You& #39;re just some guy, who deserves good things, like the rest of us."
That didn& #39;t work.
One of my best friends told me "It& #39;s arrogant of you to think that you don& #39;t deserve good things. You& #39;ve not done something horrible to merit special punishment. You& #39;re just some guy, who deserves good things, like the rest of us."
That didn& #39;t work.
The idea of being seen as arrogant? I hoped that& #39;d work.
But there& #39;s still an implicit division there.
"like the rest of us".
Still a separation.
But if I put it as We
Somehow I& #39;m able to accept it a little bit?
But there& #39;s still an implicit division there.
"like the rest of us".
Still a separation.
But if I put it as We
Somehow I& #39;m able to accept it a little bit?
If you& #39;re reading this, you deserve good things.
We do.
These times are hard on so many levels. It& #39;s fucking ridiculous. It& #39;s awful on more axes than I could imagine, all at once.
But even so
We deserve good things, to be cared for, to be happy.
We do.
These times are hard on so many levels. It& #39;s fucking ridiculous. It& #39;s awful on more axes than I could imagine, all at once.
But even so
We deserve good things, to be cared for, to be happy.
If you& #39;ve struggled to accept your own worth, your own value
If you find this resonating with you
I hope that recontextualizing it to We is helpful for you too.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đź’–" title="Funkelndes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Funkelndes Herz">
If you find this resonating with you
I hope that recontextualizing it to We is helpful for you too.
