Early this morning I reacted to tweets by Pastor Adeboye wishing his wife a happy birthday. My immediate reaction was, in my opinion, without cause and it was, as I said, a reaction. So I deleted the tweets and thought deeply about it.

I reacted to that tweet because it triggered things that I personally did not agree with and my immediately reaction was to confront it. I still do not agree with most of the things in that thread but I have come to the realisation we can all be right and wrong at the same time

What if that's the life she wanted. What if her love for him drives her commitment to him? What if that has contributed to how he thinks? Whatever the "if" is it is their marriage and their relationship. We must assume that this works for her and that's why she is still in it

I say assume because none of us speaking are in that marriage. As the world changes, people question existing norms. It doesn't make those norms wrong for the time it served people. As we become aware of the challenges of old ways we adjust and create what works for us

But the issue is that "us" is meant to be an understanding between parties in the marriage not with twitter or social media. We all have things that we want and most times, it's not what a majority want.

I have heard different things about this whole Will Smith and Jada issue and while everyone is making fun of Will the world is EASILY doing to him ALL the things we claim to frown on. Most people are not thinking about his mental state and how all these jokes can be more damaging

What if Will and Jada already addressed this in a serious of counselling and therapy sessions and worked their butts off to get past it all? Now they not only have to deal with it again... They have to do it publicly. That's already hard enough

Jada has been regarded as "cold" and "inconsiderate"... What if that's the only way she can deal with this because she has to protect Will's own "entanglements"?
I don't have any of these answers but what I do know is most of us have reacted simply based on what we hoped he'd do

I'm a newbie to this marriage thing but one thing I know for sure is that it's not a one size fits all program. Mastering it takes years and that only starts when you get into the marriage.

I have heard that will is afraid to leave Jada but what if he did and decided he'd rather be with her? What of she did and decided she is better of with him? We are all assuming he has been in a marriage for over 2 decades because of fear... Why conclude so easily?

The GO and his wife, whatever we think of their marriage, have stuck it out for longer than most of us have been alive. While that doesn't determine a happy marriage, who are we to decide it isn't? Who are we to decide she is brainwashed or stupid or unhappy?

Leave people and their relationships and marriages alone and focus on building your own life. If you don't agree with something, take time to evaluate why you are uncomfortable with it... Why does it bother you so much? HOW CAN YOUR MAKE YOURS DIFFERENT?

Just imagining and assessing why someone else's life and decisions affect you so badly and how you can avoid it for you and your own family is already enough to think about. I'm sure we all have our own flaws and beliefs that need adjustments.

My point is before you get angry about how someone else loves his spouse also stop to thing about why it upset you so much and how you can ensure you create a better space for yourself

I would never wish my wife a happy birthday that way but that's the point... Many people will see how I do mine and probably have a lot to say too... Things won't always be the way you think. You don't have to react to everything on here... Especially when it's not for you