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This is a super important thread. I've seen this kind of culture in different communities (and removed myself from them as a consequence). Personality cults. Cliques. An extreme inequality in "personhood" based on social status. It's fucking evil and needs to be rooted out. https://twitter.com/mm_schill/status/1283097466003496961
Mentoring of course is a good and important thing. Only that mentoring SO often is just a euphemism for grooming. See Warren Ellis. Men with power cultivating an image of themselves as some kind of godfather. Of course, often hidden behind some fake humility. Again, see Ellis.
Admit it, how often were you presented with some man you've never heard of before, but who everyone treats with so much deference that you simply can't help but see them as important yourself, despite them and their work meaning nothing to you? They know how to make this work.
Here's the lesson we all need to learn: stop worshipping people. Respect their work. But never, ever elevate them as a PERSON. No more heroes. Just people. It's tough and goes against our nature. But it's an important step in our evolution. Personally and as a society.
Something else I remember from some toxic communities: they try to look the opposite. We're a big happy family. And as such, absolute loyalty is expected. Even the tiniest of transgressions will be punished, often by playing the victim: "what have YOU done to ME/to US?"
Pure social pressure would force you back in line. If not, you're out. And when the family casts you out, even former "friends" will label you a disturber of the peace, a troll, a loser. In general, anyone with too many questions or any form of criticism is a troll.
Worse yet, anyone who doesn't deliver their daily share of praise to the ruling clique will be put on watch. Are you REALLY one of us? Feed the ruling clique's ego and maybe you will be welcomed back. A good example of subtle and open toxicity was Nerdist under Hardwick's rule.
That's something I realized much, much later. But with what came to light later ... everything fit neatly together again. And Hardwick is a perfect example anyway: a nobody who suddenly was just THERE. And everyone thought he must be someone important because he willed it so.
