A little bonus today! Someone asked for a bit of clarification around sex-favorable or sex-active aces! I fit that bill, so this thread will dive into that for a bit!

Note: This is purely MY experience as a sex-favorable asexual YMMV!

TMI inbound!

CW : Sex , mentions of abuse

Growing up, it was pretty clear for me that I wasn't like the other kids my age. I didn't have a favorite member of a boy band, and neither did I have any interest in the female pop stars of the 90s. I never put poster on my walls of celebrities, or really found anyone attractive

As a teen, hormones did their thing so I was curious about sex, but still never saw anyone I wanted to have sex with. When I was almost 16, I was in my first relationship, and a year later I decided I wanted to have sex.

It was absolutely my decision, but it was more of a "society says this is the next step" + hormones than a desire to have sex with this person in particular. Turns out, sex was fun, as long as I didn't get in my own head too much during it!

For the next few years, I was curious about various aspects of sex, intro to kink type stuff, but never felt that attraction towards anyone in particular. Yeah, sex is fun but any desire I felt was never directed towards anyone, just a curiosity to be sated!

In my early 20s, I stumbled across Asexuality and did some serious thinking. How can I be ace if I enjoy sex? Turns out attraction =/= action! I came to realize that I did love each of my partners, I was just romantically attracted to them, not sexually attracted to them!

For me, sex is about being close to my partner. It's a form of intimacy that helps solidify a bond with another, and generally, my partners have had a need for it. I'm a helper by nature, so being able to satisfy a need makes me feel good too!

It is also something I generally enjoy! As long as my anxiety is in check, it's a very fun way to feel good physically BECAUSE of my partner! A nice change of pace! I also do solo sessions on occasion to relieve stress and generally relax. Brain chemicals are neat!

Sex lets me feel more in tune with my partner, or even myself. After being in less-than-healthy relationships, it's empowering for me to be able to take control of my own pleasure, and to help partners feel good on my own terms! (And theirs, of course!)

My main rule for sex with partners: if they can't laugh during sex, they're not worth it.

And if that doesn't scream Ace, I don't know what does!

Later today, I'll dive into how I discovered Kink and my Aces in Kink story!

As always, if you have questions, let me know!