These are hard times. People who struggle with depression or anxiety are suffering more than usual, often silently so you don't see.

Maybe you're one of them. Maybe you care about someone who is.

You can feel better. You can help others feel better.
#depression #anxiety
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/2 First: you're worth it, the people you care about are worth it. You make the world a better and more interesting place, however depression lies to you. The project of You is worth defending. When it seems like nobody cares, that's usually because you're so good at masking.

/3 In bad times is that it gets harder to perceive other people suffering -- it gets lost in the noise of everyone suffering. So your ability to mask how you feel is unusually effective. The result is you feel alone -- cut off from support by your own success in masking pain.

/4 You need to say you need help. You need to tell someone. It's scary and feels (utterly wrongly) embarrassing and uncomfortable, but you just have to do it. A loved one, a friend, a professional. You're not going to stop suffering all on your own.

/5 Yes, it's a leap of faith. The time when you most need help, you most believe it's pointless and things can't get better. I beg you to trust me on this: they can. You can't see it now. Depression and anxiety blind you to hope of recovery. But it's there.

/6 As you would let a firefighter lead you out of a burning building even though you're blinded by the smoke and can't see the exit, you have to take a leap of faith that people can help you back to feeling better. https://www.popehat.com/2015/05/21/happy-to-be-here/

/7 You have to remember that "feeling better" does not mean "not having any problems." That is not our lot in life. It means "able to meet problems without constant misery" or "ability to hold the good and bad things in life in perspective." Depression and anxiety block those.

/8 Depression and anxiety already transform challenges into vast, unknowable, looming threats, seemingly impossible to address. Things like this pandemic exacerbate tendency because .... well, because they're like unknowable looming threats seemingly impossible to address.

/9 Our capacity to determine what happens to us and around us is quite limited. But our capacity to determine how we live in response is vast. Getting help means learning to manage that reaction. It means meeting problems without constant fear and misery. You can do it.

/10 I see you. You're worth it. You're worth saving. Here's what you need to do.

/11 If you're in crisis right now -- if you are plagued with thoughts of hurting yourself -- act now. Don't even get up from the computer, don't save it for later. Make a call or send a text now and tell someone who cares about you that you need help right this moment.

/12 Or call a suicide prevention line and talk to someone.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

/13 The key is this: you have to admit that you're suffering and admit you need help. Admit that to a loved one, a friend, a professional, and put yourself in their hands. Lay down your burden for a moment.

/14 Friends and loved ones, what can you do when you get that call from someone suffering, or when you see how much pain someone is feeling?

Support, clearly and unequivocally, them getting help.

/15 That's a little tricky. The point isn't "you're facing these challenges and I can handle them for you." That's kind, but very temporary. With depression and anxiety the problem is not the challenge but the capacity to react sensibly to it.
The message is "let's get you help."

/16 In other words, the message is not "hey, if the job is stressing you out, I can lend a hand." It's "I care about you. You need help. We're going to get it for you. No, today -- yes, I know about your deadline, but I'm going to handle it while you get help."

/17 In other words, focus on addressing the person's burdens and challenges as barriers to getting help, not as the problems in and of themselves. Suffering people come up with excuses why they can't get help. You have to overcome those excuses.

/18 Your message to your loved one is this: "you're getting help. I'm going to drive you to a doctor, an appointment, a hospital if necessary. All of your reasons why you can't today are going to be handled by the people who love you. And we will be here after."

/19 Friends and loved ones, here's another thing you can do: be a long-term presence post-crisis. Getting better is not a straight, smooth road. There are setbacks, there are relapses, and they can be particularly dangerous. Keep being there, and let them know you are there.

/20 Bless the friends and loved ones who want to help. And to the people suffering: it can get better. You're probably going to have to trust me on that for a while. But it can. You have to ask for help. You have to take the first step. Take it, please.

/end

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