Pondering Bonhoeffer's idea that there is a form of moral stupidity that requires more than persuasion -- it requires conversion. You have to become a fundamentally different kind of person who lives a different kind of life.

I'm not a moral exemplar by any means. Ultimately, the only morally significant decision I made, coming from a conservative evangelical background, was to get the hell out of Dodge. However else I have evolved since then, it absolutely required being away from those people.

To the extent that I actually manage not to be a prickly white male asshole about the concerns of other groups, it came from the choice to spend a significant chunk of my life at Chicago Theological Seminary, a genuinely diverse and progressive place.

One big problem with standard liberalism is that it is implicitly asking people to change their lives and break with their families and communities, and it offers them absolutely NOTHING, no way to imagine a different life or community -- other than just "being right."

Imagining if I had stayed in the evangelical orbit. Maybe I would have had formally "correct" opinions in some ways, but they would have been couched in the terms of that community and mostly represent my own personal pride and arrogance rather than any real alternative option.

And I'm sure that, with the thin gruel on offer there, I would have been more vulnerable to online conspiracy thinking, etc. -- again, out of intellectual pride and a desire to define myself over against my surroundings. That's what happens when you don't offer genuine education.

And honestly, I think that evangelicalism actually did offer at least some degree of intellectual engagement back when I was in the fold -- as much as I was personally starving. Now it seems like it's just nothing, absolutely nothing. Conformism with a smug sneer.

Sometimes I regret my decision to go to Podunk Christian College, but maybe marinating in that corrupt environment, learning that it really was "that bad," was ultimately more productive for me. I don't think I would have thrived in the elitist, competitive ethos of some schools.