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KongArt as parents: a thread of polls
“Why is it crying?! Make it stop!”
“Dad, can I-“
“Go ask your father.”
“Go ask your father.”
“I do everything in this house and nobody ever helps me! Unless you’re contributing rent, you should be helping with chores!”
“Son, can you show me how to use this [insert technological challenge]? It think the damn thing is broken.”
“When I was your age, we didn’t have [insert completely mundane thing they didn’t have]. You kids these days have it all.”
“You don’t want to eat this for dinner? Fine, you’re gonna eat it for breakfast then. There are children who are STARVING but you want to whine about some celery?”
*over the phone* “It’s raining!!!! Bring in the clothes!!!!”
“Don’t tell your father I bought a [random indulgence].”
“Dad, where do babies come from?”
“Well.....you see....uh....”
“Dad, if you don’t know, it’s okay.”
“Well.....you see....uh....”
“Dad, if you don’t know, it’s okay.”
“Dad, where do babies come from?”
“Well, it depends. It all starts out mostly the same. A woman pushes the baby out of her genitals or through surgery, and........”
[2 hours later]
“I’m sorry I asked.”
“Well, it depends. It all starts out mostly the same. A woman pushes the baby out of her genitals or through surgery, and........”
[2 hours later]
“I’m sorry I asked.”
“If you don’t finish the rice in your bowl, your future partner will have pimply skin.”
“Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?”
“What? There’s such a thing?”
“Yes. Great food, but no atmosphere.”
“..........Dad.”
“What? There’s such a thing?”
“Yes. Great food, but no atmosphere.”
“..........Dad.”
“But Dad! All the other kids have one!”
“So if all the other kids are jumping off cliffs, you’re gonna do it too?!”
“Dad! It’s just a Rubik’s cube!”
“So if all the other kids are jumping off cliffs, you’re gonna do it too?!”
“Dad! It’s just a Rubik’s cube!”
“Tell your dad dinner’s ready.”
“Okay,” [doesnt move] “DAAAAAAD, DINNER’S READY!!!”
“Do you think you’re funny?”
“Okay,” [doesnt move] “DAAAAAAD, DINNER’S READY!!!”
“Do you think you’re funny?”
“Son, I found this drawing in your room. Did you draw this?”
“Well, I mean, yeah, but-“
“I’m going to show this to [insert friend here]! She’s always talking about how her son is-“
“Oh my god, no, give it back!”
“Well, I mean, yeah, but-“
“I’m going to show this to [insert friend here]! She’s always talking about how her son is-“
“Oh my god, no, give it back!”
“DAD! DID YOU LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP AGAIN?”
“Sorry, sweetie.”
“Sorry, sweetie.”
[in the car]
“Oh my god, dad, did you fart?!!!”
“Oh my god, dad, did you fart?!!!”
