TW: Men Are Trash

A couple days back, I used these three words and well, many people here lost their minds.

Today I want to talk a little more about it from the perspective of women and our voice which has been systematically silenced over the centuries.

[THREAD]

The 1st recorded example in western history of a man telling a woman to SHUT UP comes from Homer's Odyssey.

The epic might be known for Odysseus's adventures, but it also has Penelope, a loyal wife who waited for him for years & their son Telemachus who grows from man to boy.

Once when the palace bard is singing about the Greek heroes' hard journey home after the Trojan war, Penelope, in front of everyone, asks him to sing a happier tune.

She is the wife of the King of Ithaca and just wants to listen to a happier song. Shouldn't be a big deal, right?

It was. Her son, just a young boy at this point, says:

"Mother, go back up into your quarters, and take up your own work, the loom... SPEECH will be the business of men, all men, and of me most of all; for mine is the power in this household"

And off she goes, back to her loom.

This is the perfect written example for how women's voices are silenced in the public sphere - speech-making, debate and comment - politics in its widest sense.

The right to speak in public was one of the defining attributes of maleness. Women speaking in public? Just not done.

650 BC to 2020 AD. Has anything changed?

Then, Telemachus tells Penelope to go back to her womanly endeavours.

Now, if you're lucky you'll be told to go back to the kitchen. More often than not, you'll be told in graphic detail how you'll be r@ped.

Here, you might be tempted to say that we have had strong women in history.

Yes, we do. From Elizabeth I and her aggressive courage in the face of the mighty Spanish Armada in 1588 to Rani Laxmi Bai of Jhansi and her legendary bravery in the battlefield against the British.

Elizabeth's historical speech, which by the way is completely canonical and written 40 years after says:

"I know I have the body of a weak, feeble woman; but I have the heart and the stomach of a king, and a king of England too."

Rani Laxmi Bai as immortalised in the poem by Subhadra Kumari Chauhan, we know as:

"खूब लड़ी मर्दानी वह तो झांसी वाली रानी थी"

Both are stripped of their feminity to make them worthy of leadership. Because women, as themselves, are not supposed to be powerful. Power is for men.

POWER and VOICE and GENDER is the inherent issue in play with internet trolls - from abuse to rape or death threats that women receive online daily.

It doesn't matter what you say. If you're a woman, the abuse comes automatically.

Penelope just wanted a happier song, remember?

However, there are 3 magical words that are guaranteed to invite abuse every single time a woman utters them:

MEN ARE TRASH

While the outrage might be expected from men, it comes just as strongly from women in this particular case.

So let's examine this statement now.

We don't really know where it started as it was thrown around long before it gained popularity in 2017, when Karabo Mokoena was murdered & her body burned by her boyfriend in South Africa.

Post this incident the #MenAreTrash trend took over social media platforms for weeks.

Ever since then, the phrase has been used rigorously across all social media platforms.

The phrase stems from the sheer frustration and exhaust of women dealing with men who are inappropriate, entitled or simply complicit, who are taught they are dominant & superior.

If you think that women who use this phrase do not know that not all men are trash, you are again coming from the toxic masculine belief that women don't know any better and you have to teach them the obvious fact that some men are good.

We know that, thank you very much.

We know perfectly well that good men exist and this statement has nothing to do with those good men.

Let's try explaining this statement with a simple snake metaphor:

With the short glimpse into history earlier, we've seen that men have held power and had a voice, FOREVER.

Women have been powerless and voiceless FOREVER.

The scales have never tipped to a true balance.

So maybe this phrase is rude. But is it really as rude as centuries of being rendered powerless, of being left voiceless, that men have done to us?

Maybe this phrase hurts. But can you even imagine the hurt of someone who has never been allowed to speak without being punished?

This phrase is meant to be a jolt - a rude awakening that something is wrong, a signal that men should do better.

If the phrase offends you - it should because your gender has been tyrants for far too long. And instead of silencing us yet again, maybe try listening for once.

I know this #thread is long.
But the patriarchy has gone on for much longer.
And it needs to end now.

P.S. For people interested in reading more on the topic of the public voice of women and women in power, here's a book you can pick up.