It’s Darwin does Dating day. Today’s topic: Conflict in relationships https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥊" title="Boxhandschuh" aria-label="Emoji: Boxhandschuh"> (It happens!) But what are the common bones of contention among couples? And do love birds https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐦" title="Vogel" aria-label="Emoji: Vogel">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐦" title="Vogel" aria-label="Emoji: Vogel"> in the USA argue about the same things as those in China? [1/12]

To look at this, Dillon et al. asked over 2,600 couples from the UShttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇺🇸" title="Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Vereinigten Staaten">, UKhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇬🇧" title="Flagge des Vereinigten Königreiches" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge des Vereinigten Königreiches">, Chinahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇨🇳" title="Flagge von China" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge von China">, Russiahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇷🇺" title="Flagge von Russland" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge von Russland">, and Turkeyhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🇹🇷" title="Flagge der Türkei" aria-label="Emoji: Flagge der Türkei"> how satisfied they were with their relationships. They then asked them 5 simple yes or no questions about their relationship: [2/12] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/147470491501300101">https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/...

Were they sexually fulfilled? Was money a problem?https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💸" title="Geld mit Flügeln" aria-label="Emoji: Geld mit Flügeln">Did they disagree as to how their children should be raised? Was their partner kind? And did they agree on who did what in their marriage. [3/12]

That’s right – Sex, Money, Kids, Kindness, and Household responsibilities. The 5 horsemen of the relationship apocalypse https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💀" title="Schädel" aria-label="Emoji: Schädel">. [4/12]

Some pretty cool findings. First, the women in the study. For them, all of the 5 horsemen lead to reduced satisfaction with a few exceptions: Disagreements about kids didn’t matter so much to US women, nor did money issues for Russian women, for example. [5/12]

Of all the horsemen, unkindness was the real killer, followed by lack of sexual fulfilment. And this nicely mirrors what we find when you ask people what they want in a partner, like in this study by the rather handsome @DrThomasAG! [6/12] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/10.1111/jopy.12514">https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdf/1...

What of the men? A similar pattern to the women, though among American and Chinese men, being sexually unfulfilled seemed to have less of an impact on relationship satisfaction. A surprising finding! [7/12]

Now all of these effects were moderate to weak – that doesn’t mean they don’t matter, just that there are other things that affect satisfaction beyond these. There may be things (like coping strategies and personality) that soften their blow https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🛡️" title="Schild" aria-label="Emoji: Schild">. [8/12]

It’s interesting that we see similarity between the different nations. Next time you have an argument over money, you can be safe in the knowledge that you’re not alone. In fact, there’s probably a couple in Turkey or China arguing about the same thing! [9/12]

And there’s probably a reason for this. Kindness, sex, and resources are important from an evolutionary perspective. They are key to a strong, cooperative partnership that can produce and support offspringhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👪" title="Familie" aria-label="Emoji: Familie">. [10/12]

The people who cared deeply about securing these things were more likely to see their genes survive and thrive across the generations https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧬" title="DNA" aria-label="Emoji: DNA">. And chances are you’re descended from such people yourself. [11/12]

If you’re interested in the study and would like to read it, you can find an open source copy of it here! Until next time. https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Marina_Butovskaya2/publication/270652012_Sources_of_Marital_Conflict_in_Five_Cultures/links/5652cfc308ae4988a7af27ff.pdf">https://www.researchgate.net/profile/M... [12/12]