FOOTBALL: THE LOVE OF THE "UNSERIOUS"

Many people find it visibly unfathomable that I do not watch football nay belong to any football club as it is in the Nigerian football parlance where football lovers talk football, buy jerseys, stake matches and do all sorts..

of crazy things to pledge their undiluted loyalty to their football club.

I could remember vividly having a discussion with Miss Alaro Khadija, a one-time Hall of Residence Mayoress at the University of Ilorin about my likes and dislikes.

I then told her I do not watch football nor support any football club, she blatantly disagreed and concluded that I was too boring and not an average Nigerian guy. I didn't find it surprising as I had once been rejected by a lady because I do not wear Jean and round necks.

Personally, I found people who watch football or discuss football as unserious persons who don't value their time. I believed that how an earth would a "reasonable" guy sit down to watch, argue and stake football, for what? Why?

My definition of male reasonability was understandably premised on reading books, discussing national issues and politics.

Little did I know I was mistaken, football lovers are very crazy people.

I mostly wonder how one Efunwoye from Ita Alamu will brag about signing a player, "Ati sign Lacazette ni 50 million, Efeku ni Saturday". Someone that depends on Olaoye for afternoon garri bragging about signing someone that doesn't know he exists for 50 million.

That's how passionate they're about their football clubs.

Yesterday, my status was flooded with different people talking about Manchester United. From what I gathered from WhatsApp statuses, I think that yesterday match was crucial to Manchester United's UEFA Champions League..

qualification. Even a friend of mine promised to go naked if Man Utd lose yesterday’s match. While I concluded that football is a game for the "unbusy" and "unreasonable" people, ...

.. I was then surprised some weeks ago to see the former governor of Osun and current Honourable Minister for Interior tweeting about Liverpool. This is a public official that barely has time to sleep watching football.

I tender an unreserved apology to everyone I have abused for watching football in the past, I was obviously thinking all guys should toe my boring lifestyle.

I remember following @TheBayoAfolabi and @senherby to watch an epic match between Barcelona and Liverpool sometime last year. I was forced to follow them. Within 10 mins into the first half, I had slept off and had to leave before second half, ...

... thereby allowing the 200 naira paid to waste. That's how much I find football so boring.

Sometimes last month, I wanted to choose a football club and probably start watching football, I then asked for club suggestions on my status.

Following people's suggestions, I picked Barcelona, maybe also because I like Lionel Messi because "people" say he's a good footballer. I then posted Barcelona, the outrage that followed from opposition clubs even made me lose interest, ....

... mostly those "Ogogoro" Chelsea fans and the "disappointing" arsenal fans too.

I do not want to be different, because it is now obvious that any guy that doesn't watch football nor have a club is an alien and has ultimately betrayed the bro code.

I have seen female football lovers too.

I must say that I have noticed that football binds people together, irrespective of our religion, ethnicity, political differences, and affiliations, we all come together when it's time for football.

In football, you can disrespect your dad and brag to beat him in the night’s match. That's the power of football.

So I am open to football suggestions, but I do not want Chelsea and Arsenal because the Chelsea fans I have been made to know are "Ogogoro" boys and Arsenal are the club of the unrepentant losers, apologies to the fans of both clubs.

We will meet at the viewing centre soon.