Politicians in federal government acting like the question is "parents, should we open the schools?" are fucking infuriating.

Every parent wants the schools back open.

The question is "why haven't you done your god damned jobs so we CAN open the schools?"

"Fire department"
"The school's on fire!"
"It's not"
"It IS"
"Maybe spray disinfectant on it"
"It is on FIRE"
"Not ALL of it"
"It's spreading"
"China started it"
"It's ON FIRE"
"You get fire because you have alarms—no alarms, no fire"
"PUT OUT THE FIRE"
"Time to open the schools"

"The school. Is. On. Fire."
"Open it"
"PUT THE FIRE OUT"
"Schools have to open"
"DO YOUR JOB"
"Closed schools are bad for kids"
"SO ARE FIRES"
"Fires happen you know"
"YOU ARE FIRE FIGHTERS"
"Right. That's why we can't come"
"TO A FIRE?"
"To a school. Schools are for teachers."

"Our studies show that only several tens of thousands of children will burn in these fires as long as all the children realize the floor is lava."

"I'm reading VERY credible reports that these fires were mostly just set in barrels by the sanitary department to make the firefighters look bad."

"Oh, COME on, there's not even a fire, and even if there is at fire, most of our schools are on some kind of fire last year, and what about the CHICAGO fire? You never hear them complaining about THAT.

"No I would not like to explain what I mean by 'them.'"

"We don't even know yet whether or not children burn."

"THANK you, Senator. This is just ANOTHER case of liberal hand-wringing HYSTERIA and FEAR MONGERING to try to harm our great American economy from people who HATE America.

"Next up, are Mexicans coming for your children? We found an online Nazi who thinks the answer is Yes."

*indescribable sound of the future and the past being swallowed by an un-namable hunger secreted in the madnesses between the cracks of reality*

"Well quite frankly, many people tell me that these fires are very tremendously overblown, and I have a feeling that eventually they'll go out."

"I'm also hearing these studies, very exciting, that children are cake. I'd like our experts to weigh in on perhaps that possibility."

schools-aren't-on-fire, it's ridiculous, it's ridiculous, listen, have you ever, uh, known-somebody-on-fire?-no-i-haven't-and-neither-have-you, show-me-your-evidence, ah, that-any-school, or anything-like-it, is on anything-like-anything, resembling fire. I'll wait

"The *real* fires are the people who call fire departments about fire."