I will answer you based on the fact you genuinely want to learn.
Before I do that I will offer you a tiny picture of my background.

I come from a family with a strong family tenet.
Both from the maternal and paternal side.
Men are the head of the family, but culturally.
#thread https://twitter.com/theredpen007/status/1282684050768039936

there are active gender roles in our society where the men have their roles and women have theirs.

When Christianity came in, women abandoned theirs and embraced piety, while men held both sides.

Women embraced monogamy, which relinquished so many powers to the man.

Number 2. Our culture positions so much importance on the dead, and pay so much respect to the memory of the dead.

For instance, before Christianity, both genders used to observe mourning same way.

We grief and carry out several rituals same way.

For a proper perspective, if your wife/Hus dies, he would be made to stay for close to 6 months or 1 year without mingling with people or touching his hair.
It was called(iru uju).

You have to intentionally look very pathetic to demonstrate that you are really mourning the wife.

Then on the last day of the mourning, you would be cleaned up and allowed to mingle once again.

But men abandoned theirs and stopped policing men on that.

While the women retained and even upgraded theirs by even cutting the hair on the very day of widow husband's burial.

So yes, we have a patriarchy system that has been empowered albeit ignorantly by women.

But currently, the society is fluid as women are taking up household roles on a daily basis.

On the marriage as it relates to our culture which is the subject of the conversation.

There are many things that would make it very unappealing for a man or woman to remarry after the demise of their partner.

For example, in our culture, we are very nucleated, as your mother, father, siblings and cousins are attached to you even when you are married.

I have over 50s cousins I connect and relate with from both sides.

As it is expected in our culture, the man goes out and bring in a woman into his home, and make her a full member of the family.

And if she dies without kids. The man is advised to remarry, same for the woman.

Depending on the woman, if she wants to remain in the family, the younger brother of the deceased may be asked to marry her.

I remember one that happened in my community, she agreed, I remember my grandmother was strongly against it saying the boy should be allowed to marry...

whoever he likes instead of putting "Ogbatu ihe" a clog on him.

To be honest, most men would easily remarry after the demise of their wives unlike the women because of many reasons like
Her sexual market value, circumstances surrounding the death,

and her codependency on the deceased husband.

But for me, having seen the implications, I'd advise men not to get involved in re-marrying when there are kids.

Because often time than not, the second woman tend to maltreat the kids.

and it usually ends with serious litigations and unending disputes that would tear down a united family apart.

Currently, a lot of families are in serious crisis because of the situation relating to this.

But for women, who lost their husbands leaving kids behind. It is quite rare to see men who would accept a woman with her kids, and sometimes, it could be a very harmful optics for the woman as the sisters of the husband would fight you with their last breathe

for getting married to another man after the death of the husband.

They may come up with allegations that you killed their brother. Especially when the brother was loved by the family and rich.

Now, this is a very serious issue many aren't even considering.
It is very serious!

If you decide to remarry as a widow, the biggest opposition you would face would come from the women, not even from the men as being echoed here.

They will make sure all the properties of their brother are all taken away from you.
Even people saying it here would do same.

Because the concept of marriage in our culture is not just a union of two individuals but tow different families in an incredibly respectful way.

On the other side which makes it uneasy for men here to reject the idea of marriage for their mom.

In my culture, mothers are strongly attached to their sons that they have a lot of say on who he'd marry and where he'd marry from.

Men literally don't joke with their mom. You can do anything to them, but when it comes to their mom, you have crossed the dangerous line.

It is really inconceivable to imagine having your mom you have grown to love and support getting remarried.
Especially when the kids are grown and the woman is in her 60s or 70s.
I would say it is more of pride-protection mixed with jealousy(i don't think this fits in properly).

I PERSONALLY CAN'T WRAP IT.
It is a sign of indiscipline, razz and promiscuity.

It could also be a strong negative dent on your lineage and image.

In fact, it will forever be a topic in the community, a source of premium "njakiri" (bants) among your peers.

Yes, that is our culture and most women tend to maintain that stand as a sign of LOYALTY and RESPECT to the memory of the husband and family she's married to.

Remember, when you remarry as a woman, you are submitting yourself to the family you are married and

thus breaking the bond you had with the original family.

Your sons/daughters are likely to revolt against the estranged husband.
These are realities in real life not the myth of social media conjectures.

We consider these things as being wayward and ungodly.

This is a reality in a typical conservative family setting.

We have a system that works in taking care of our aged parents, the way we are taking care of our over 90-year-old grandma now.

No man can give her the peace of mind we give her.

Interestingly, from my experience, it is actually more problematic getting another wife when there are kids already as a man than getting married to a man as a widow.

I'm not against anyone getting his mom or dad another man or woman.
We all come from different belief system.

It doesn't work great here, and kindly respect my belief system alone, and do what is best in your family.

At the end of the day,
"he/she that brings insects infested firewood is inviting lizards for condolences"

Conservatives and Liberal should live and let live.

Thank you.