Side note: In a conversation with some friends yesterday, I was talking about my JEE prep in XI-XII. I was out of my home, constantly on the move either studying, or shuttling between coaching, for 12-14 hours a day. https://twitter.com/HitchhikerQ/status/1282945581552267265

I went straight to one V*M*C from school, taking a different bus route. Ate my lunch there, revised my concepts before the 3-4 hr classes started, and then took the metro home, reaching at about 8 pm or later. I would study till 1/2 am and then wake up at 6 for school again.

On other days I went to F*I*I*TJEE, which was much closer to home. I had a 1 hr window after coming back home from there, in which I would cram my lunch & change from my school uniform. After that ended, I'd have a 1 hr gap again before my private tuitions for Math and Science

On weekends I did morning classes at one coaching, evening classes in another. I was constantly sleeping for max 6 hours (also rare). If I overslept, my father would diligently wake me up every morning and hang around till I had left the bed.

Ofc I asked for none of this, I wanted to study English or Journalism maybe. But most importantly, I wasn't given the option to choose. I scored a 10 CGPA, so my father decided I would take PCM. As a 15 yo, I also didn't know better nor was I encouraged to make a decision

I developed many severe mental health problems, included some very concerning and serious things I am only addressing now. But I also wondered my father was so hell bent on me overworking myself this much. And then I realised because he had too.

He had worked extremely hard, being from an exceptionally small hill station with no quality education access, to move out of there and come to Delhi. In his drop year he studied in Cotton College, Guwahati, whole constantly preparing for AIEEE (JEE Mains).

He had gotten through to DCE (now DTU) and lived in Delhi with no family or money as such. He then got into IIT Delhi. So he had succeeded due to his extreme dedication and hard work. He had stayed up nights studyign, tutoring other kids to earn enough to get by.

But here's the thing - I needn't have had to work that hard. I lived in one of the biggest cities of the country, with constant access to quality education, coaching, tutors, books. And I had a father who'd done all this, knew all this very well.

But brown parents are unable to account for changes. They feel their kids will have to do the same things they did, to get where they did. He justified it saying there was more competition. But I never felt, nor do now, that it was a valid enough reason.

Just bcz he had worked himself that hard, I didn't need to. That was the whole point of him working hard, wasn't it? So his kids wouldn't have to. Ofc I rebelled and stopped caring about marks. I didn't pay attention in class, or sneakily read books at home during my study time.

I don't have any ending note to this thread. I can't say it was insane on his part, cz most brown parents are like this. They don't understand, nor are willing to, that their kids live in a completely diff world from them, & that's what the whole problem with their parenting is.