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A story on growth and healing, that I& #39;d like to share to my tiny ass following because goddamn if we don& #39;t all need some hope right now.
TW: #toxictheology
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#toxictheologykills
#queerChristiansexist
#mentalhealth #MentalHealthAwareness
#yourbodyisaperson
TW: #toxictheology
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#toxictheologykills
#queerChristiansexist
#mentalhealth #MentalHealthAwareness
#yourbodyisaperson
~NOTE~
I& #39;d like to acknowledge the fucked up system I exist in that gives me, a white person, the privilege to afford these services while millions will never see access to mental health care services in their life.
#mentalhealthcare in the US is broken
I& #39;d like to acknowledge the fucked up system I exist in that gives me, a white person, the privilege to afford these services while millions will never see access to mental health care services in their life.
#mentalhealthcare in the US is broken
I& #39;ve been seeing a counselor regularly and consistently for almost a year now. Before her, I was in inconsistent therapy for about two years (two big moves messed everything up).
I& #39;ve been on medication since August of last year (SSRI).
And
I& #39;ve been on medication since August of last year (SSRI).
And
I& #39;ve been a client of @jamieleefinch since pre-COVID (but that became inconsistent for a bit due to a brief stint of income uncertainty, we& #39;re consistent again)
I& #39;ve been digging hard into my deepest, ugliest, most debilitating traumas.
It& #39;s been eviscerating.
I& #39;ve had periods of horrible nightmares.
Periods of deep numbness.
Deep grief.
Deep depression.
Deep anger.
You name it.
It& #39;s been eviscerating.
I& #39;ve had periods of horrible nightmares.
Periods of deep numbness.
Deep grief.
Deep depression.
Deep anger.
You name it.
In a deep healing process like this, we don& #39;t see the results until they are big, obvious, and often pointed out to us by someone else.
Growth is gradual. Growth is consistent and never ending.
Healing and building a healthy relationship with our bodies is gradual.
Growth is gradual. Growth is consistent and never ending.
Healing and building a healthy relationship with our bodies is gradual.
My Big Obvious Moment 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="™️" title="Registered-Trade-Mark-Symbol" aria-label="Emoji: Registered-Trade-Mark-Symbol"> happened two weekends ago.
Ya see.
All my life I& #39;ve slouched. For so many reasons.
1) obvi, I hated my body and every piece of them
2) I had no confidence or pride and lived riddled with shame
3) I& #39;m tall for an AFAB, and working in kitchens for years gave me chronic back pain
4) I have back injuries
All my life I& #39;ve slouched. For so many reasons.
1) obvi, I hated my body and every piece of them
2) I had no confidence or pride and lived riddled with shame
3) I& #39;m tall for an AFAB, and working in kitchens for years gave me chronic back pain
4) I have back injuries
Two weekends ago I saw my parents since the first time since October.
It& #39;s hard to be with them.
They& #39;re abusive. They are abusers. It& #39;s painful an exhausting.
But ya know what the first thing they said to me was?
"Have you gotten taller?"
It& #39;s hard to be with them.
They& #39;re abusive. They are abusers. It& #39;s painful an exhausting.
But ya know what the first thing they said to me was?
"Have you gotten taller?"
HAVE I. A 28 YEAR OLD PERSON HAD A GROWTH SPURT?!
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">
No, of course not.
But I don& #39;t slouch anymore.
I don& #39;t slouch anymore because I& #39;ve committed to investing in a relationship with my Body.
Because I& #39;ve committed to undoing a lifetime of abusive internal scripts.
Because I& #39;m learning who I am and how incredible I am.
But I don& #39;t slouch anymore.
I don& #39;t slouch anymore because I& #39;ve committed to investing in a relationship with my Body.
Because I& #39;ve committed to undoing a lifetime of abusive internal scripts.
Because I& #39;m learning who I am and how incredible I am.
So take that, #toxictheology
Take it. And shove it up your ass.
You told me I was nothing.
You told be to live a life of guilt, shame, self-hatred, and merely surviving.
But here I am.
Free as the bluebird on my back.
Take it. And shove it up your ass.
You told me I was nothing.
You told be to live a life of guilt, shame, self-hatred, and merely surviving.
But here I am.
Free as the bluebird on my back.
