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My top 25 hottest soap men of all time list. I have consulted my dick about it and we came up with it. I thought a few of the rankings were a bit high, but he's a diva. If you don't like the list, make your own, bitch. Now here's a picture of Shangela:
25. Samuel Page. You might know him from The Bold Type or as Joan's rapist husband on Mad Men, but I first saw him as Trey on All My Children. I was captivated by him from the start. As you can see he has a lot to offer.
24. Blake Berris. He's like Adam Driver in that he's a bit of an odd beauty, but I think he's hot AF. He was so good at playing villainous Nick Fallon on #Days and he's the only fuckable version of Spinelli on #GH when he was a temp recast.
23. Nathan Owens. Cameron was a nothing character. The only thing you probably remember him from was dating Abby and stripping. And the stripping made a lasting enough impression on me! Nathan hasn't acted since 2017, which is such a waste. #Days
22. David A. Gregory. Ford on OLTL was a horrible piece of shit. One of the worst characters Ron ever created. It really brightened my day when that chandelier killed him. But David himself was just mass fap inducingly hot. I wish he were on a soap.
21. Rishi Nair. It might be cheating to put him on the list since he's from British soap #Hollyoaks, but I don't care. Whenever I watch, I'm hot for him. I honestly think he could leave that show and find success in movies and TV. *dodges shoes from Hollyoaks fans*
More tomorrow. Here's a picture of a Michael Mealor wearing a shirt that appears to be a cartoon drug addled dog and yellow shoes with purple socks:
20. Jordi Vilasuso. He's been on four soaps and he isn't even 40 yet. He's almost at A. Martinez number of soaps. And he's still hot twenty years after his debut on Guiding Light as Tony Santos. To another 20 years of being highly fuckable! #Days #YR
19. Rick Hearst. Speaking of actors that have been hot for decades, Rick has been making soap fans horny since 1989. Through 5 soaps we've wanted to ride him like a pony. And he still looks great as a silver fox. #BoldandBeautiful #Days #GH #YR
18. Adrian Bellani. The superior Miguel Lopez-Fitzgerald! Jesse Metcalfe is cute and all, but I was way more attracted to Adrian's version. #Passions really knew how to cast a hunk. Like I honestly think the casting director deserves a special Daytime Emmy for it.
17. Eric Winter. This era of #Days had some sexy ass men and Eric was one of them. Rex's story started out dumb, but he grew on viewers and is still remembered fondly. I don't claim Kyle Lowder's nutting in everything that moves version of Rex.
16. Billy Magnussen. Casey on ATWT was a himbo god. Zach Roerig was hot as well, but a touch too Shaggy from Scooby Doo for my tastes. And Billy had chemistry with everyone. I fondly remember Casey slipping Emily that young dong. Casey went on to marry Emily's sister/daughter.
15. Redaric Williams. He could have been big on #YR if they had actually written for him and let Tyler be with Lily and actually end Lane. Instead he meandered for a few years and was paired with Abby. Such a waste of a sexy man.
14. Rob Scott Wilson. I've been hot for Rob since he was getting a blowie on All My Children while talking about computers. And he managed to make choking people on #Days disturbingly hot. His biggest achievement is making a Boston accent sexy which is nigh impossible.
13. Colin Egglesfield. It is shame that this beautiful man is attached to the worst story in All My Children history: The Unabortion. They could have given Kendall a twin if they wanted to give Erica a son. Ugh. Fuck McTavish forever.
More tomorrow. I'm going to invite you to try to predict my top 5. You all know my taste pretty well, so you might get close.
12. Ryan Paevey. When he started at #GH, his acting was horrid. He was just this super hot robot dude. Though he grew and became a super hot dude who could act. And now he's making conservative white ladies horny as the King of Hallmark.
11. Rome Flynn. CBS hiring sexy Black men and wasting their time is a bad habit they have, but this one is even worse because Rome can actually act. Fortunately for him, he fled B&B and found primetime success on Why Is Your Penis On a Dead Girl's Phone? #BoldandBeautiful
10. Michael Mealor. You might be thinking "But he has a Lego head!" Well, some of us would like to sit on that Lego head, okay? Let us live! #YR
9. Brandon Beemer. Brandon is my Shawn. Jason Cook is adorable in a "Boy next door who you give your first handie to while watching an episode of Smallville", but Brandon is just straight up sex. And those eyes! #BoldandBeautiful #Days
8. Tom Pelphrey. He just has this raw energy that is enthralling. And looks like he'd pound you into the mattress. And he allegedly did that with a Guiding Light actress or two. Also, he got a good portion of fandom to support cousin fucking! That cements a top 10 status.
7. Pierson Fode. Pierson literally looks like a horny gay teen wished him into existence. Are we 100% sure that's not the case? Does he have a mother and father? If you poke him with a stick, does he complain about an actress over 40 not winning an Oscar? #BoldandBeautiful
6. Joshua Morrow. I am a little annoyed that he's still so hot. Is it good genes? Botox? Both? An anti-aging cult of soap stars with Rebecca Herbst as supreme leader? Dorian Gray situation? We need answers, Joshua! What are you hiding? #YR
5. Christopher Sean. I miss so much. He's one of the rare straight guy on soaps who played gay convincingly. You believed he wanted that ass, even Sonny's! That's talent. #Days
4. Lamon Archey. Lamon isn't just a pretty face and great body. He's hilarious as well and if you come at him, he will clapback. He has no fucks to give anymore. I used to be mostly against stars clapping back, but if you tag that person, you get what you deserve, bitch. #Days
3. Peter Porte. He was the perfect soap stud in the making. He looked like a God, could act and was playing a legacy character. Should have been a slam dunk! Then Maria decided to make Ricky a serial killer and have his own father kill him. Fuckers! #YR
Bonus Peter Porte gif.
2. Josh Swickard. It isn't because he follows me. Y'all know I was already on the Swickard train before that. Josh is hot, talented and nice. Remember when I made a thread lovingly mocking his and other soap stars modeling pics? He was a good sport about that. Lust away! #GH
1. Matt Bomer. Matt in those tighty whities is one of the horniest soap moments of that era. I was a teen then and trust me I kept the VHS tape of that episode for awhile. 2002 Guiding Light was a true blessing. Also, he was wearing a thong under that.
Well, that's it. Thanks for reading/looking. If you don't like the list, I don't care. Any "Where's Ivan Tinkle from soap The Horses Ride On? Where's Kit Snare from Another Galaxy?" questions have the same answer: They didn't make the cut. Different strokes for different folks.
