My brother gave me a rusty old wok he found in the trash, so I guess I'll try to make it nice again

Time for my most feared and hated angle grinder attachment

This thing does such a good job, but I really, really hate it anyway

That's a lot better. Time to season it

Charcoal time

Reason #3 mesquite charcoal is better than briquettes: it's all crackly

Reason #1 mesquite is better: it burns much hotter

This v hot

Lard up

Now we wait

What you're doing when you season a pan is heating the oil until it starts chemically breaking down. There's kind of a complicated burning/polymerizing thing happening that turns it from clear fat into a black glaze. It will go through some color changes on the way

See how it's starting to turn brownish gold?

You just kinda babysit it for a while, smearing the gooey, decomposing fat around like paint while it turns darker, and applying more coats of fat as you go. Eventually, it will all be a brownish black color and then you can cook on it

You don't need a barbecue for this. You can do it inside on the stove, but it's hot in LA right now, and it's even hotter in my house, so the last thing I want to do right now is stand over the stove inside

It's looking good so far

ouch. i burned my finger. that happens sometimes

'If I were Emily, I would simply not touch the fiery lard'

Tada!

Dinner time