Alright, so I’m going to keep a thread, because it might be useful for other folk too. But I just started seeking medical help as I’m 90% sure I’ve got the combined form of ADHD. I also know a number of people that are wondering similar things and figure, let’s do this together.

Coming to this realisation has taken about a year, and began with stumbling on @ADHD_Alien talking about emotional regulation and lashing out before having time to think/being referred to as sensitive. Initially I opened the strip because: look pretty colours and cute art style.

This then led to looking at the other panels and thinking, weird... I do most of these. More importantly as I descended into hours of going through the comic strips, I learned two very important things:

The first: ADHD doesn’t always present as fidgety yell-y-ness in kids.

The second: terminology for things I’ve experienced my whole life. In particular, executive dysfunction.

So to explain: that thing, when you know a task is important, you know exactly how to do it, but can’t bring yourself to do so... that. Also poor ability to manage time or prioritise tasks.

As this extended out into other sources, more revelations hit, e.g.: poor object permanence. When I don’t see something, I can easily forget about it. Memory is an issue in general.

But, as anyone who knows anything about mental health that reads this will probably point out, I thought there could just be overlap.

I was a fairly quite bookish kid and compared to my sister who was the archetypal screaming, fidget monster, aside from being wildly forgetful and requiring frustratingly detailed instructions to complete tasks, nothing really seemed amiss.

That was until towards the end of high school, when tasks became harder and had stricter deadlines. Complicating matters it’s when life went bananas at home.

With my grades dropping, missed deadlines building up, teachers who previously said I needed to stop relying on talent began saying: I have so much potential if only I’d try harder/apply myself. I began to really feel failure and was quickly diagnosed with major depression.

Which is something I’ve been struggling to manage for the past 16 years.

So late last year as I fell down this ADHD rabbit hole and thought geez, there’s a lot of overlap here, for the first time I began to implement strategies based on what I was reading.

Now this is where the inkling began that this was a real thing. Simple things: placing physical reminders of things within eyesight, getting other people to manage my timelines, changing the way my meetings work so that I have something to fiddle with and a little movement.

Unlike the tools that previously worked, these and others actually began to help (to an extent, the fact that I’m here ranting because I don’t want to write or edit is evidence that there’s a long way to go).

To the point that, by now I’m usually entering into my second depressive spell of the year (which hilariously correlate to a period where I’m usually given a lot of tasks and when a bunch are due). This year, I’ve had none despite the pressure and awfulness of 2020.

Which is odd, I’ve never gone this long before. Knowing what executive dysfunction is alone, has been a great relief.

Being able to explain that in addition to concentration issues, asking me to break down tasks doesn’t take A, B, C and make:
A1
A2
A3
B1
B1.1
B1.2
C

It makes:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G

Which is too much and I simply overload and go do something else. Usually a new task that is exciting.

Lol, just realised I should’ve made this a branching thread and this should be background/explanation.

Anyhoo... by using the tools from ADHD advice, I began to feel less worthless and due to the improvement in lexicon, began to experience less “why am I like this?”, “why can’t you just do the thing, everyone else seems to do” and “why does simple task take you so long” feelings.

So now I have a correlation. But correlation doesn’t mean causation (as any STEM major, including myself will tell you at great length). But did merit digging deeper.

I didn’t intend for this to be so long, it’s just explaining how I came to the decision to actively go seek help. After this, I’ll branch the thread and keep it short! Promise!

While I can’t show causation without a medical expert, I could however seek to strengthen or weaken that correlation. Again, the overlap could just mean that those behavioural modifications work for both.

So from here set about looking at risk factors and behaviours that should be lifelong. So folk who also suspect you might have ADHD, these are things to consider:

1. Heritability. ADHD is highly heritable and there are genetic links, with several SNPs in select genes identified.

Do you have direct family with ADHD?

For me, yes, my sister and one of my uncles have both been formally diagnosed.

2. Hyperactivity.
As a kid were you unable to sit still for long periods, leaving your seat at inopportune times, or generally set to 100 km per hour?
For me not really. My parents still talk about giving me a book and leaving me places, knowing I’d be completely engrossed.

How about patience? While no child is good at this, we’re you notably bad?

For me, haha, unless I was preoccupied, waiting for things was the worst. Most famously I kicked a celebrity for taking too long in a line first time in Sydney, as he was between me & something I wanted.

I’m going to call this 4, but there’s an overlap with 3.
4. Impulsivity. So this is things like answering questions before they’re finished, excessive talking in class, interrupting people, risk taking behaviours.

To no surprise, I was terrible in this regard. I’m still awful.

Personal favourite on this one include: vanishing across paddocks to visit neighbours when bored and trying to run away from home to go to school when I got sick, despite living on a farm well away from town.

5. Inattention.
We’re you a day dreamy kid? Trouble focusing on tasks you were disinterested in? Off in your own little world, always losing and forgetting things?

Have you zoned out because this thread is too long? (Lol I wouldn’t read something this detailed).

If you’re Australian, did you hate the no hat no play rule because you swore you put it in your bag but it mysteriously vanished? Check this one too!

6. Moving away from direct diagnostics and into commonalities:
Did you excitedly begin (particularly creative) activities only to abandon them shortly afterwards?
Somewhere I may still have a Pokémon I drew and laminated, intending to hide all 151 so friends could find them.

Lol, I made about 20, out of order, and moved on to something else.

Skipping ahead to grown up stuff because I was tapped out a while ago, but have started and shame is one of the things that works for me on small tasks.

So the things I’ve been calling superpowers all my adult life:

7. Are you excellent under extreme pressure? Think medical emergencies, crises.

Many folk with ADHD thrive during surges of epinephrine.
I’ve administered CPR to strangers until an ambulance got there 4 times now, so going to tick yes.
Chaos is my element.

8. Wildly uncontrolled creativity.
Can you produce ideas, significantly faster than you can work on them? Moreover do you abandon projects to start new, currently more exciting tasks?
Eg: working on a thread because some friends are going through similar things & you could help?

8. Continued:
Even further, can you work on said new idea for hours straight even though you’ve been stuck on the other task for, for like, weeks?

9. Storytelling +1:
Are you excellent at storyteller? Does your enthusiasm just take over and who cares if you’re over sharing? Or more importantly, do you think you’re good at it? Because....

Bad things!
10. Self assessment.
Have people ever accused you of being over confident in your abilities and you reverently disagree? Surprise, you may well be over valuing your abilities.

I’m wrapping up soon!

11. Substance abuse issues?

Are you a binge-drinking alcoholic, a smoker, or enjoy stimulants?

You may be shuttering out some of the thought processes, like force closing browser tabs. Also addictive habits.

12. On that, do you consume gargantuan amounts of caffeine and still feel tired?

13. Forgetfulness. If you receive a text, does it take you so long that you think it’s better not to reply at all?

14. Overcommitting/overextending:
Tying into self assessment, do you sign up to do multiple tasks because you want to help and then realise, oh no, you probably can’t do all that? Do you keep doing this even though your multitasking is limited? But also, weirdly needed?

15. Reckless/impulsive decision making?
Do you often make decisions that seem great at the time, or feel inspired, only to realise during or part way through, a teeny bit of thought would’ve told you so?
I am the king of this, see bus from LA to Toronto because? Kerouac?

15. Why did I come here and what am I doing?
Enter a room with no idea what you were after?
Go to the shops for one thing e.g.: bread, and come home with a new plant, some shiny earrings, chocolate and somehow no bread?
But also somehow were shopping for <10 minutes?

Last point multi-part and the reason for this whole thing, congrats for making it here (I had more but ran out of steam back there...)!

The most important point:
16. If you’ve thought YES, oh fuck yes to many of these:
Do these behaviours and traits impair your functioning?

In more than one environment? E.g. socially, at work, or at home?

This is key to actual diagnosis and why I’ve decided to seek help.
That object permenance problem applies to friends, executive dysfunction hinders my ability to perform at work. My rash emotional outbursts...