No one reads my tweets so I'll tag a few big accounts like @StephenKing @jk_rowling @NCGOP @benshapiro (Ben won't see this tweet I blocked him) @FDRLST @realDonaldTrump @DonaldJTrumpJr (FUCK why did I BLOCK POTUS and First Son smdh)

I have a SOLUTION for the #PronounWars
Thread

The Proposed Solution:
@OED @Dictionarycom @MerriamWebster
The Only Valid Pronoun in the English language is IT
No he his she her hers BS
Everyone is It/Its
No binary octal decimal hexadecimal BS
Everyone is It/Its

Just think about how the world will be transformed!

"Wow! Look at Sally! Its sundress is gorgeous! I'm going to ask it where it got it from!"
You no longer have to wrack your brain about Sally's anatomy at birth, the color of its nursery, what clothes it wore to preschool... Today it's looking great in that dress. End Of Story

North Carolinian parents, Ben Shapiro and its co-travelers etc don't need to lose their jobs cuz they're terrified about the bathroom situation in their kids' schools

Your kid is fine, NC parent and Ben! It's using the same toilet facilities as all its classmates

Hey @OED @Dictionarycom @MerriamWebster
In phase 2 of The Solution, when Society is ready for it, a few nouns will also have to be retired in favour of other nouns like parent, spouse, sibling, child/offspring etc.

Please internalize this suggestion, poke holes in it, discuss argue refine

No one reads my shit so I'll tag a bunch of nice (incl good-hearted ahole) big accts in the vain hope that even 1 of them will signal boost
@noamchomskyT aren't there languages without gendered pronouns?

@darth this is Hunter
It'll be 15 next week it's healthy af but this is probably its last bday pls RT
@Popehat is this thread RICO? If no pls RT
@jk_rowling Fuck You
@greg_doucette @NonWhiteHat this may transform NC pls RT
@PadmaLakshmi @hasanminhaj
I made Pesarattu! Pls RT

SHIT

This was supposed to be a 3-tweet thread I'm so sorry
My handful of followers, if you don't RT this pls unfollow me
If you're turned off by the begging for RTs just pretend that you're pre-ordering my NEW BOOK or setting your DVR for my VERY OWN NEW SERIES PREMIERING NEXT WEEK

Before I go I'd like to just say that #TERF ppl are among the worst humans; in some ways worse than the Pink Supremacists in American Brit and European societies
White Power? Ok but bro you ain't white you're as pink as my baby's butt when he's full of poop lmao

Shit one beer too many
Time to enjoy the Pesarattu with Indian Railways chutney (less coconut, more dahlia more water lol) My sambar sucks but whatevs

Put me on your show @PadmaLakshmi

Goodnight and fuck @jk_rowling @NCGOP @wisgop @FloridaGOP and on and on