As a Gambian, expecting a baby (especially your first), how often have you been told/advised by your mother's and the women folk not to outwardly express how you feel during labour? I.e. Don't be in the labor room screaming! Somehow it is looked down upon.

This has got me thinking how we are thought to suppress even our painful experiences. Something as excruciating as labor, we are taught to not outwardly express ourselves through it. Apart from all the apparent systemic issues we face as women of color,

I wonder how much of this also negatively affects the care we receive? As much as this should never affect the care we should receive from care workers, I wonder if it does to some extent??

To aspiring and expecting mothers out there, when the time comes, please listen to your body. If you have to crawl, jump, twerk, scream, laugh, punch through the labor pains, please do as you please. I for one did all forms of barma sendems during my labor pains!

Played a small theatre like my husband would say! And it helped me through it all (thank God I wasn't shamed or berated for doing so). I screamed/squealed through every contraction, danced through some and laughed or talked in between them.

I can't imagine how it would have been holding all that in through the pain! Not because holding it in was a coping mechanism for me, but because society suggested that was the lady like thing to do. Also, father's!! Being in the labor room should be the norm! not the exception!

It is a bonding experience y'all are missing out on! I can't express how much having my husband with me positively impacted the experience. To just know you have someone who got your back and will fight for your care when you're going through it, lifts some of the heavy load

Off of your already tired body and mind. So please please, let's dead this culture of not being in the labor room because you're a man. You're now a father first and that's just that. You're also pregnant and are about to deliver so you need to be active in labor

To mothers to be, I pray you are blessed with a supportive system when it's time to carry and deliver life. It is not an easy journey so please don't feel any less than for expressing your pain, your need for a helping hand, and/or being overwhelmed by the journey.