Read on Twitter
This thread got some more attention yesterday thanks to a generous RT, and gave me the opportunity to revisit it. I realized that it really needs some clarification/context that I wasn't ready to share at the time. (another thread) https://twitter.com/BeerDharma/status/1214323090576093187
That thread reads like "dude exercises heroic levels of self control during a really dark time in his life, and lives happily ever after." I'll let Maury take it from here...
The fact is, the conversation I had with my "doctor" was actually my psychiatrist, and the context for that conversation was "I really think you need to go to the hospital for your safety." I decided to split the difference and voluntarily committed myself to an IOP program
IOP stands for "Intensive Outpatient Program." It's where you'll actually probably land afterwards if you wind up in an in-patient situation. The program I went to was for co-occuring mental health issues and substance misuse (I have bipolar disorder)
This consisted of going to 5 and 1/2 hours worth of group therapy and classes for 5 days a week for seven weeks. It's basically like boot camp for CBT/DBT, med compliance, and how to cope without substances.
Oh, the other really important part: I got piss-tested randomly up to three times a week to ensure that I was compliant with their zero-tolerance policy on using alcohol/drugs. I also had to attend AA meetings which felt mortifying.
I entered this program in late September, so "sober October" was a nice cover for my friends, especially in the industry, who were like "hey, haven't seen you at the bar for a while." Worth noting that I took time off work from my beer job at the time
NGL, it sucked, but the things I learned there would prove incredibly valuable to me moving forward. We're talking "live-saving" levels of valuable. I know it's a scary proposition for most people, but I promise it's not as scary as it seems.
Probably the most eye-opening part of this whole thing was sharing stories in group therapy about things I've done and seen in the beer industry, and having hardcore opioid addicts and people who drank several bottles of vodka a day react to them with shock and abject horror.
Anyway, I completed the program and ultimately decided to return to drinking in moderation. I still struggle with this from time-to-time, especially when I'm depressed. There is no "happily ever after," but I've come a long way since then.
There are two reasons I wanted to share this:
1) To point people in the direction of actual help, because "Dry January" just isn't going to be enough for some people. There's help out there.
2) I want to normalize this in the industry. Seeking help shouldn't make you a pariah
1) To point people in the direction of actual help, because "Dry January" just isn't going to be enough for some people. There's help out there.
2) I want to normalize this in the industry. Seeking help shouldn't make you a pariah
Gonna leave this here and take some time to breathe because this is a really triggering thing for me to revisit -- apologies if I don't reply for a bit. My poor, poor therapist is in for a fucking treat for my appointment tomorrow morning
