i placed my pronouns in my twitter bio a month or so ago to prove a point. i was always staunchly against having them in my bio, but everyone was always adamant about this being the reason for why i was being misgendered online.

i’ve been keeping count and, on average, at least 5 people have misgendered me everyday for the past month. on average. meaning sometimes it was more people than that. but my bio very clearly states what my pronouns are—as folks demanded it should, lol.

there are a couple of reasons why i have always been against having my pronouns in my bio. one of them being because i’m Black and i’m fat and therefore i will always be read as “man” for as long as gender exists, irrespective of what my pronouns are.

the other reason, however, is because i believe this creates a culture wherein people are dependent on being able to “check” for a person’s pronouns (or lack thereof) without actually having to engage a person—which literally benefits no one. i’d argue it’s harmful.

offline, there is no bio to read. no display name to read. all you have is human interaction. by demanding that all of us place our pronouns in our bio, we place the onus on trans people to ensure that we aren’t misgendered rather than being committed to not misfendering ppl.

the reality, at least for me, is that placing my pronouns in my bio does not stop me from being misgendered b/c so much of my gender (or lack thereof) is tied to my Blackness and fatness. as such, no one feels the need to check my bio b/c someone who looks like me MUST be he/him.

others are welcome to place their pronouns in their bio, of course. but when we start making it a “requirement,” i feel it only harms trans people more. especially Black trans folks. and no one checks anyway, clearly lmao.

i want us to get to a place where we are comfortable actually engaging the people around us as beings who are more than twitter bios and conference pins.

you can’t “read” me to know my gender (or my pronouns, which aren’t the same). so you have to engage me.

and while bios and pins can be tools, they shouldn’t be the sole thing we depend on to know a person’s pronouns. especially if we are actively working towards building a world that’s centered around community.

i have a lot of other thoughts, but i’ll leave it here for now lol. i’m removing my pronouns from my bio because if imma be misgendered anyway, i at least want my profile to give the aesthetic that i want.