Dear children of immigrants,
I know you may carry guilt as you charter this new territory without a roadmap from those before you. I know that it can feel heavy & you question if you’re making the right choices.

I see that it pains you — that your parents may not understand or wholly support you and that your friends may never be able to relate to your struggles. All of what you experience is valid.

Sometimes being a child of immigrants can feel like you've been set up for failure. Like you're playing a game that's rigged to never let you win. Like you've been holding your breath & if you exhale, all the parts & pieces you've been taught to be ashamed of will tumble out.

Your parents may hurt you, but they are often doing the best they can with what they know and what they have been taught. Recognizing that doesn't absolve them from the very real pain you feel. But how can you accept what is AND give yourself permission to choose healing anyway?

You are here, potentially with so much more at your fingertips than anyone before you, & it’s a liberating, yet burdensome, privilege. I see you. So how are you meant to find peace when everything around you seems to contradict each other?

I don't have the answer. Nor does anyone else. You may seek validation from others for the guilt you feel. You can be advised by your friends. Your parents will have expectations. You can turn to a professional for guidance and empowerment.

But no one knows what’s right or good for you the way you do, & if it feels like you don’t know, then often it’s an indication that you need to sit with yourself & be honest about what is important to you, what you need, & what you are/aren’t okay with.

Hearing what others think may muddle the only voice that truly matters — yours. I know you weren’t taught to turn inward for answers because you’ve been repeatedly told that your elders know best or that you belong only where you are told you belong or...

that your worthiness is measured by archaic standards of success or productivity. Here’s the truth: You are the first & last responder in your own life. You do not find happiness or peace in doing. You find it in being. You find it in exploring your own wholeness.

You are not broken; you are breaking open. Growing pains are uncomfortable, but they also enable growth. Allow yourself to hold space for ALL of you — the good, the bad, the excruciatingly beautiful & painful. No one said it was going to be easy, but remember, you are enough.