i haven't released a new video in seven months because crafting arguments often feels like antihuman behavior. rhetoric is the art of putting thoughts in people's heads and i don't believe youtube as a platform or medium is capable of delivering uncontaminated ideas.

i'm overstating the case a lot here and i know how pointless a thing this is to obsess on.

for the record this isn't some kind of youtube retirement announcement. like every other fucking ~content creator~ i will never retire. just musing aimlessly to a crowd of 9000 strangers.

i've been thinking a lot about how the creator of pictures for sad children burned their own books on kickstarter because they couldn't stand the way capital corrupts everything it touches. every day i find myself agreeing with that update a little more.

god, what a [jerkoff motion] this thread is.

i don't know why i haven't released a video in so long. burnout mixed with depression and dysphoria. post graduation not talking to people casually about media as much. general disillusionment and contempt for the online millstone.

the idea that any idea no matter the context is untainted really is laughable, huh.

you know sometimes you say shit and then you read it back and you think "wow, i really do need to crawl out of my own ass before i die of asphyxiation"

i want to delete this thread but i'm committed now