Myths about Fours!

1) “4’s like to suffer”. Reality: 4’s may appear that they like to suffer, because they mentally dramatize all their moods. But 4’s, just like the rest of us, genuinely want to find joy. We’re just not afraid of turning over the rocks in our brains that might-

-have scary things under them. I hate the term “unhealthy” in typology, but for lack of a better one rn, unhealthy Fours have sort of come up short on ways to be unique and authentic, because they haven’t explored their talents or asserted themselves enough, so they fall back on-

-attempting to rebrand their own suffering as unique. “I suffer more than most people, my suffering is a unique kind of suffering”. But Fours *want* happiness, because Fours are humans.

2) “Fours don’t really want to be understood.” Reality: This myth drives me crazy, because there’s not a single thing in the world I want more than understanding. Fours, in part, become Fours, because they do not identify with either caregiver/parent and therefore do not feel-

-seen. Fours like when you tell them they’re unique, interesting, or even weird, but when someone close to us says “I don’t understand you”, it re-agitates the wound left by never feeling recognized or seen. Will Fours sometimes try to be elusive and mysterious to reinforce-

-their sense of uniqueness? Yes, of course. We learned early to rebrand our sense of isolation into a positive sense of uniqueness, but truly “seeing” a Four and understanding them accurately is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. It is so healing.

3) “Fours are self-focused and therefore don’t possess much empathy for others”. This, of course, depends on the “health level” of the Four, but Fours are genuinely one of the most empathetic types, and in some instances, the most empathetic. And the reason for that is that-

-when you’re really going through it, Fours are super unafraid to cognitively “go there” with you. Fours have always dealt with darkness by exploring it, and they’re not afraid of the darkness in others either. They will be the most receptive type to talking about hard-

-stuff like rape and death. When my grandma died in 2016, my Four friend asked me questions about her, wanted to know how she died, what the hardest part of witnessing her death in person was, what her favorite things to do were, what her marriage was like, etc.

No one else gave me more than an “I’m sorry”, which is fine, but this is what I mean by Fours will step right into a dark mental space with you and just be there, so unafraid to take some of the load from you. Fours are brutally self aware, so the fact that no part of themselves-

-has gone unexplored makes them unflinching and unsurprised when it comes to empathizing with others.

Sorry, this reads like a totally biased love letter to Fours, but I just wanted to share! All types are so so so beautiful and have unique gifts that are needed by everyone!