Types of Albanians you’ll meet

Jaden Lulgjuraj
-Lives in Michigan
-Americanized Albanian
-Roman Catholic
-Loves America
-Watches American football religiously
-Family moved to America from Montenegro in the 1960s

Koço Prifti
-Software engineer from Korça
-Immigrated to America on E1b Visa
-Is a Professor at MIT
-Speaks with a funny Albanian accent
-Drives a Mercedes Benz
-Calls himself Orthodox but attends church once a year
-Lives in Boston

Melissa Murati
-Moved to America at a young age from Tirana
-Is “Muslim” yet gets drunk at parties
-Loves her fat stature
-Votes straight Democrat at the ballot box
-Lives in a gated community

Ilir Rexhepagiqi
-Albanian from Kosovo
-Smuggled himself into America on the trunk of a Cadillac from Mexico
-Ships drugs across Detroit, Cleveland, and Canada
-Drives a Mercedes Benz G Wagen
-Is married and has 7 aryan children
-Proud Muslim but still drinks raki

Leonard Mehmeti
-Proud Albanian nationalist from Kukës
-Moved to London England to start a car washing business
-Drives a New Mercedes Benz
-Father of two daughters
-Eats Serbian organs
-Admires Enver Hoxha, King Zog, and Skenderbeu
-IDs as Muslim yet hates Islam

Tyrone Çamaj
-Half Albanian half Black
-Rapper
-Goes to clubs every night
-Proud of his black side
-Lives in the Bronx

Xhamil Aliu
-Ashkali Gypsy from Rrogozhinë
-Owns a pizza shop
-Identifies himself as Albanian, rejects his Gypsy heritage
-Hates Gypsies with a passion
-Actually tries to make a living for himself
-Denounced by every Albanian

Enrico Martini
-Albanian from Durrës
-Owns an Italian restaurant in Dallas
-Denies his Albanian heritage, pretends being Italian for business purposes
-Is actually a Sunni Muslim despite having a Christmas name
-Married to an American wife
-Owns a big mansion

Muhamet Xhelil Shemseddin
-Albanian from the outskirts of Struga
-Also resides in Dallas, but goes to Struga ever summer
-Attends mosque every Friday
-Worships Allāh
-Has a cousin who fights for Al-Nusra Front
-Hates Macedonia and Slavs
-Loves Turkey & Bosniaks, they are brothers

Slobodanka Mehmetović
-Albanian from Montenegro
-Speaks better Serbian than Albanian
-Identifies as Montenegrin and not Albanian
-Is half Montenegrin through her mom
-Loves Montenegro a lot
-Thot

Qemal Demi
-Cham Albanian
-Proud Sunni Muslim
-Albanian Nationalist
-5’8”
-Has his own personal army
-Lives in The Hague, Netherlands
-Hates Greeks with a passion
-Larps as the President of Chameria
-Has a olive field which also produces cannabis in Saranda

Marissa Kardhiqi
-SJW
-Hates her Albanian heritage
-Hates men
-Smells like shit
-Attended the CHAZ zone
-Has BLM & they/them pronouns
-Denounced by her family for being mentally ill
-Despises Albanian men daily

Dhimitraq Jorgojani
-Himariot
-Half Albanian half Greek
-Has an identity crisis
-Lives in Athens
-Religious member of the Greek Orthodox Church
-Visits Himara every summer
-Co-owns a restaurant with his brother Stefanaq

Fatimë Haxhiu
-Albanian Muslim from Kaçaniku
-Worships allah daily
-Gets beaten by her husband for not wearing hijab
-Attends mosque daily
-Married at 18.
-Father was a Hoxhë.

Kristi Jazexhi
-Homosexual
-Drinks soy
-Vegan
-Lives in Tirana
-Identifies as a communist despite denouncing Enver Hoxha
-Supports BLM

Lule Çela
-Modest Albanian lady from the villages of Skrapar
-Loves nature
-Loves her dog.
-Fashion Model
-Good at makeup

Valon Krasniqi
-Lives in Switzerland
-Kosovar Albanian
-Drives a rented BMW to Kosova every summer
-Expert fraudster
-Kidnaps a wife from Kosov to live with him in Switzerland

Petrit Mitraj
-Football fanatic from Vlora
-Supports Chameria & Kosova
-Beat up a Serb at a football match
-Owns a large field of farms in the outskirts of Vlora
-Currently a Football Coach cause he’s bored

Larry Gashi
-Inflated ego
-Epitome of an Albanian wigger from NYC
-Calls his haters his fans
-Thinks he’s too good for anyone
-Probably gay, masks it with rap and “being alpha”

Albina Shehu
-Qt Albanian weather girl
-Friendly and outgoing
-Not afraid to be herself
-Has a large Instagram following for her looks
-Somewhat of a thot but also kind

Preng Mark Kola
-Proud Catholic Albanian
-Has 50 Skenderbeu statues in his house
-Is 6’9”
-Lives in Michigan but visits Albania during the Summer and Winter
-Is not afraid to attack Islamists who insult him
-Has 65 active blood feuds on him
-From Malësi e Madh

Açıf Turğut Oğlu
-Albanian from Istanbul
-Of Albanian & Bosniak background
-Proud Turkish nationalist but loves Albania
-Knows no albanian but visits his ancestral home of Tetova
-Would join the Turkish army do invade Greece and kill Qurds
-Hates Assad

Vehbi Mustafa Hazizi
-From Dibra
-No one can understand him
-Most feared drug lord in London
-Escapes the cops every time
-Is Noizy’s cousin
-Drives a Land Rover
-Pimps our Moldovan wh0res

Baba Mehmet
-Wise old man from the highlands
-Shepard by Profession
-Has 15 kids, his recent one just born
-Also 6’9”
-Is filthy rich thanks to diaspora remittances by his son
-Drives a Mercedes Benz W123
-Operates an illegal raki distillery inside of a bunker

Shlomo Shqipiro
-Only Rabbi in Albanian
-Identifies as an Albanian for (((benefits)))
-Runs the Bank of Albanian
-Secretly embezzles money for Israel
-Is filthy rich compared to the average Shqippo

D’Shaun Williams
-African American from the Bronx
-Larps as an Albanian thanks to his Albanian friends
-Probably watches too much Albanian hypno videos
-Dating a ghetto Albanian girl with hoop earrings

Fatmira Ahmeti
-From Tropoja
-Mistaken as black
-Dating a black man
-Lives in Camden, New Jersey with D’Shaun’s kids
-Speaks in Ebonics